flawed perfect with arrows

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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2009-02-18 08:05 AM

I have never been one for candy
or the sweet bites of pleasure that sizzle
on the tongue and then fade away

but I did savor the hearts you gave me
with the little words on them
and I read each one too and pretended

they were whispers you slipped from your lips
for my eyes only to know the sounds of
before your watched me swallow those thoughts

and realized that I would always be hungry
for more of them then you could carry
or more of them than you could give away

but you didn't say that was a bad thing either

_________________

daark (forbidden)

Jax Nova
Junior Member

since 2009-02-04

Posts 20
OK

1 posted 2009-02-18 10:43 AM

Interesting write.

Sems to fit well for Valentines day.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

2 posted 2009-02-18 11:44 AM

Thanks Jax..it was motivated by same..but was more the residue wearing look back glasses

Indigo
Senior Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 602

3 posted 2009-02-18 12:08 PM

does hunger abate
with whispered words of rincon
melting in his mouth?

Indigo

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

4 posted 2009-02-18 12:55 PM

ms indi...insatiable always the craving
perhaps it is the sweet salty residue
that seems to leave lip prints on the windshield of my mind..thanks babe

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 2009-02-20 03:15 PM

Insatiability for sweet that doesn't pack on the pounds... and it meets acceptance! *S* Sounds good to me... Wonderful work!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

6 posted 2009-02-20 04:37 PM

thanks suthern..you smile me

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

7 posted 2009-02-22 08:52 AM

No, abundance of manifestations of love and desire aren't "a bad thing" for sure.

And no, you may not be "one for candy", but your poem does have a sweet touch to it, as it shows the delicacy of your heart that walks hand in hand with your passion.

Dear D., you are a wonderful presence here on Pip. All of your poems are of outstanding quality.

Love,
Margherita

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

8 posted 2009-02-22 08:56 AM

"they were whispers you slipped from your lips
for my eyes only to know the sounds of
before your watched me swallow those thoughts"

..........not a flaw in these words at all.

M

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

9 posted 2009-02-22 09:11 AM

now I've got that Sheena Easton song, For your eyes only, stuck in my head.....

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

10 posted 2009-02-22 10:07 AM

ms mar, thanks so much lady friend.

______________

ms MMs, thanks babe for the eyes and thoughts
______________

ms suesea, yes I do think that song goes well with this..thanks babe

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