please comment everyone, what do you guys think of it?

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Teen Poetry #1

please comment everyone, what do you guys think of it?

Maitay
Member

since 1999-07-16

Posts 158
Sisters,OR,USA

0 posted 1999-08-01 09:21 PM

Tears of dispair swallow my body,
convulsing with overwhelming pain.
Aching for the chance to hold once more,
all that has been stolen away.
You stole my heart with such sweetness,
lifting my body and spirit to new hights.
Allowing me to roam free,
grazing everywhere in your arms.
Far was I from knowing that sorrowful words
were lingering near.
Soft words spoken that you needed space,
grinding and twisting my heart.
An unthinkable shape is now me,
something black that lingers in the dark.
Hopeing, wishing for more light,
the rays formed by love's gentle fingers.
The first time I was hurt was your fault,
the next mine - for I knew it was coming.
Someday a hand will crush you,
to show you the pain of lonelyness.
I wonder - will you be able to go on.
You'll be knocked down by a great force,
making you prove your worth.
Worthy of having the love of another.

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~depression is not a sickness of the body or mind, but of the heart. When the heart feels alone and afraid~
Maitay Mirabel Litton

Black Rain
Member

since 1999-07-19

Posts 60
California, USA

1 posted 1999-08-01 09:23 PM

This was a great poem, I loved it.

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"I'm just a girl....standing in front of a boy....asking him to love her." - Notting Hill

JellyBean
Junior Member

since 1999-07-29

Posts 24
Durham, CA 95938

2 posted 1999-08-02 10:52 AM

I like the way you described exactly how you felt.
I like your signature quote too. :p

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