Teen Poetry #1 |
NEED comments PLEASE |
mike2sacks Junior Member
since 1999-07-29
Posts 18brooklyn ny |
she entered my life with a beat of my heart now im shattered as we brake apart my mind so clear myhead so dull as thoughts of death cross through my skull they say there are millions of fish in the sea but she was my cathc special for me i can have so much more wenever i need so y split my wrists and watch my slef bleed? memories of u run through my mind but of good ones i still can not find first i see u then i see mud then i see my bodie swamped in blood ppl say the end is farther then near but i see the end its right over here many ppl remember a smile on my face but now htey say "depression has taken over its plase" now death will come and i will die all depending on how my bodie lie deaht will hopefully come by tommorow so life can end in pittiful sorrow ------------------ [email protected] ------------------ |
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© Copyright 1999 mike2sacks - All Rights Reserved | |||
Addie Anne Junior Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 46norman, oklahoma- usa |
now that was good. i feel your hurt. i'm going through the some thing now, i've been through it before. keep wrighting poetry. it always pulled me up when i needed it. it was a nice poem, addie |
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Sweet T Member
since 1999-06-14
Posts 64mesa, arizona maricopa |
I can understand your pain, but I can never understand something being so serious as to kill yourself. To me that is the easy way out your soul would roam forever about.! True to the styles on my behalf, I have to say good work my fellow poet. Just put down the razor and pick up your pen. Write down your problems and that is where we will come In. |
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nicnac8 Junior Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 46New York, N.Y. USA |
I liked the poem but it's a little morbid. hopefully these thoughts aren't really going throught ur head.I she left someone who cared so much, then she obviously never deserved u to begin with. Just remember: "Don't call upon Death, b4 it calls U." |
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doritos Junior Member
since 1999-07-31
Posts 21 |
You have a great talent for writing poems. Use it to express your feelings and thoughts to everyone rather than to keep them in your mind until the breaking point. Cute poem, by the way. |
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Mike1sacks Member
since 1999-07-24
Posts 103Bklyn ny,usa |
thanx |
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