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Teen Poetry #1
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Mike1sacks
Member
since 1999-07-24
Posts 103
Bklyn ny,usa

0 posted 1999-07-29 08:15 AM


Dear Tammi,
close your eyes,tell me wat do you see
do u see u and me
I see us walking together,hand in hand
in the city going about as we planed
if you only knew the way that i feel
can it be love,can it be real
My eyes will open and then they close
with you on my mind,but know1 knows
to me u r day,to me u r night
to me u r everything,everything right
to me u r my sunshine,even my rain
driving me crazy,but still keepin me sane
you are my love,you make me complete
every time i see u,my heart skips a beat
now i must sleep,to dream of you
and at the same time i hope u dream of me 2
------------------
Mike1Sacks@aol.com



------------------
Mike1Sacks@aol.com

© Copyright 1999 Mike1sacks - All Rights Reserved
Mike1sacks
Member
since 1999-07-24
Posts 103
Bklyn ny,usa
1 posted 1999-07-29 03:44 PM


popo
JellyBean
Junior Member
since 1999-07-29
Posts 24
Durham, CA 95938
2 posted 1999-07-29 04:54 PM


I like it, but for some reason the last two lines don't seem quite right. I don't know. Good Job,
JellyBean

Sweet T
Member
since 1999-06-14
Posts 64
mesa, arizona maricopa
3 posted 1999-07-29 06:26 PM


If the emotion portrayed in this poem is how you really feel, then my hats off to you. Very seldom do we see a man that can express a genuine love without something to gain behind it.
BRAVO!!!!!!!

Mike1sacks
Member
since 1999-07-24
Posts 103
Bklyn ny,usa
4 posted 1999-07-30 02:03 AM


to see if ur my kinda chik

Mike1sacks
Member
since 1999-07-24
Posts 103
Bklyn ny,usa
5 posted 1999-07-31 04:36 PM


sweet work
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