can u please post ur coments

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Teen Poetry #1

can u please post ur coments

Mike1sacks
Member

since 1999-07-24

Posts 103
Bklyn ny,usa

0 posted 1999-07-29 08:15 AM

Dear Tammi,
close your eyes,tell me wat do you see
do u see u and me
I see us walking together,hand in hand
in the city going about as we planed
if you only knew the way that i feel
can it be love,can it be real
My eyes will open and then they close
with you on my mind,but know1 knows
to me u r day,to me u r night
to me u r everything,everything right
to me u r my sunshine,even my rain
driving me crazy,but still keepin me sane
you are my love,you make me complete
every time i see u,my heart skips a beat
now i must sleep,to dream of you
and at the same time i hope u dream of me 2
------------------
Mike1Sacks@aol.com

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Mike1Sacks@aol.com

Mike1sacks
Member

since 1999-07-24

Posts 103
Bklyn ny,usa

1 posted 1999-07-29 03:44 PM

popo

JellyBean
Junior Member

since 1999-07-29

Posts 24
Durham, CA 95938

2 posted 1999-07-29 04:54 PM

I like it, but for some reason the last two lines don't seem quite right. I don't know. Good Job,
JellyBean

Sweet T
Member

since 1999-06-14

Posts 64
mesa, arizona maricopa

3 posted 1999-07-29 06:26 PM

If the emotion portrayed in this poem is how you really feel, then my hats off to you. Very seldom do we see a man that can express a genuine love without something to gain behind it.
BRAVO!!!!!!!

Mike1sacks
Member

since 1999-07-24

Posts 103
Bklyn ny,usa

4 posted 1999-07-30 02:03 AM

to see if ur my kinda chik

Mike1sacks
Member

since 1999-07-24

Posts 103
Bklyn ny,usa

5 posted 1999-07-31 04:36 PM

sweet work

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