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Teen Poetry #1

she who frees me

suicidal dreams
Member

since 1999-09-28

Posts 343
Toledo Ohio USA

0 posted 1999-09-29 08:02 PM

This world is my prison.
These people are my jailers,
except for the few who want to free me,
And of these few one is a beutiful angel,
And to have this angel love me as I love her will set my heart free.

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life is short kill quick

Mark4Him@juno.com
Junior Member

since 1999-09-26

Posts 36
Whitesboro,NY,USA

1 posted 1999-09-29 09:49 PM

A beautiful thought to have someone as your angel,who wants to free you,but why do you feel that way about the world?The possibilities are endless,why limit your view to a confining image?
However wonderful someone is,you shouldn't base your exsistance on them.However,it was a well written poem.

Melissa

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

2 posted 1999-09-29 10:10 PM

You changed the last line tom....nice improvement

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"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

suicidal dreams
Member

since 1999-09-28

Posts 343
Toledo Ohio USA

3 posted 1999-09-29 10:19 PM

thxs for the replys i will explain this poem to any who email me at: THEFAMILYFOUR@prodigy.net

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life is short kill quick

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