I need some serious feed on this poem

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Teen Poetry #1

I need some serious feed on this poem

The Mike Sacks
Member

since 1999-08-29

Posts 129
brooklyn ny

0 posted 1999-09-26 08:46 PM

i try not to care,
but i fail once again
ur the girl in my poems
and i wont let u in
i promissed my self
i'd never care
not for anyhting
but then i found u here
I dont know if i win or lose
with u next to me
i dont know if its a plan against me
or way to lower my self esteem
your to perfect for me
so i know ur not real
somethings not right
nothing is right

------------------
I wish i were a poet

Lauren
Junior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 21
FORT PIERCE ,FL

1 posted 1999-09-26 09:26 PM

i think your poem is great and if you feel this way about the girl you should at least give it a chance.. ask her out....give her this poem....something....just because you thinks shes perfect...shes not noone is and shes not to perfect to give you a chance ....you dont know how she feels or what she thinks...it seems like your possibly in love with her?....believe me caring about someone alot and not telling them doesnt get you any where you have to build up the guts to tell her...im still trying to build up mine too....it sucks knowing that he doesnt know how i feel cause that leaves me not knowing how he feels....do something about it before she finds someone else.....charge at her while you have the chance....sorry if my advice sucks or doesnt help at all im jsut trying my best

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

2 posted 2007-11-13 07:36 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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