I gripped her hand... - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #1

I gripped her hand...

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 1999-09-19 01:23 PM

I gripped her hand as if it was a cross
As she allured me in her wicked web
And as we sneaked inside upon our toes
The ground shook from every step

As if a lock awaits the fitting keys
My stainless heart awaited its embrace
She kissed me once with autumn’s breeze
And disappeared without a single trace

Came winter... windows froze with ice
And ashen snow fell on the surface
And in my dreams I sought her eyes
As if a key that seeks its purpose

------------------
I fell in love and kept on falling

Systematic Decay
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........

1 posted 1999-09-19 01:31 PM

Wow...............
I feel like you described what my relationship with my "best friend" looked like on the outside...
on the inside unfortunately, it was much worse.........

"Look on the bright side is suicide"
-Kurt Cobain-

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

2 posted 1999-09-19 02:38 PM

Sorry to hear that...

StratMatt
Member

since 1999-09-19

Posts 87
Macomb, IL, U.S.A.

3 posted 1999-09-19 06:03 PM

This poem makes me think of an event that inspired me to write 2 different complete songs. I don't know if the seasonal difference was actually just the times it happened, but the winter without the person is very metaphoric.
Beautifully written piece.
Good work.
Matt

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

4 posted 1999-09-19 08:16 PM

I agree with you about the winter without the person being very metaphoric! Thanks for your comment!

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