I'M in love with a guy who doesn't love me.

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Evi
Junior Member

since 2004-04-10

Posts 18

0 posted 2004-04-10 07:16 PM

Hello All

Was just looking for some advice,

I have been in love with this guy for nearly a year but 6 months ago he got a new girlfriend, and its just making me feel down.

Reading some of your poems especially ESP's, which by the way are really moving, i was wondering if she or any of you could help me, or connect with me or just something.

think i need something else to focus on take my mind of him.

How are things going with you and the guy you like ESP?

Thank you

Evi

XX

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

1 posted 2004-04-11 01:48 PM

I know how you feel. I have been in love with a guy for about 6 months, and he sorta likes my best friend. Yep. It really really really hurts a lot when we all hang out and they are all oevr eAch other. I can connect with ya on this one, but i cant really give any advice... sorry. Best of luck with everything.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

Invisible1
New Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 6
Austin, Texas

2 posted 2004-04-11 03:01 PM

Why must we spend so much time desiring unrealistic love affairs?
Sorry, [Edit - Profanity removed - Ron] I just got over an "unrealistic love affair" after about  18 months. Believe me, it changed me (and my writing).

[Excerpt from "Love Letters To You"]
"I’m typing this to let you know just exactly how I feel about you and about us. There is no us, right? We’re just two people who happen to talk every other day. Only I think there’s something more than that. This is how I feel. I feel as if there’s something between us, a kind of chemistry if you will.  I like you, for you. I like you for whom you have chosen to be. I see the real you, a side of you that most of your closest friends don’t see because you choose to be a leader and nothing else. They see the guy who’s in control, a guy whom knows what he wants and works hard to get it. You’re great at getting what you want! You don’t have to be a jerk about it either. That’s what I like about you.
I know you couldn’t feel the same for me as I feel for you. Possibly because of some of the things I’ve done and some of the things you think I’ve done, maybe it’s because I had a “relationship” with one of your close friends. I’m not sure why you may never feel this way but, I am sure that this can go no further than a simple school-girl crush. However, I think it may already be going further than a simple crush. It’s you, its all you. You’re the reason I feel this way. I can’t stop what you’ve already started, I try but it’s not working.  I’ll try harder but I really wouldn’t prefer to. I like this new love I’ve found. I don’t like all of the consequences it has but I’ve learned to deal with that slowly.  I’m going now to make an attempt to get you off my mind!"

Ally,

[This message has been edited by Ron (04-11-2004 04:42 PM).]

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

3 posted 2004-05-11 06:08 PM

Find solace in the fact that if he is with someone, then he is most probably a happy laddie!
I know it's not easy, but sometimes the best thing to do is fall out of love and in to friendship.
Besides, what will be will be...if you and he are meant to be together then one day you will and if not, then you won't...regardless of whether you mope or not! Either way, enjoy the fruits of friendship, they are very sweet too.
I hope things are going well for you.
Liz x

"Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake

Dark Kisses
Member

since 2001-06-24

Posts 364
Flat lands of Kansas

4 posted 2004-05-25 12:21 PM

Here is my story.....

I have always said, never live with regrets. The *what if's* and the *should I have's*. Life is way too short to ever wonder what might have happened if only you would of given something a fair chance. As I sit here and type these words, it reminds me alot of my past. I use to let every adventure, every chance... just slip right past me. Not really caring what I was missing because I was too scared of change. Too scared to live life to the fullest, mainly because I didn't want to be hurt. But I met an unbelievable best friend that helped me conquer that wall of fear. After all those years of hiding from life, I opened my eyes and finally seen a bright and beautiful world out there. So many doors started to open for me and so many people entered my life. When I looked around each morning, I literally felt loved by many. To me, this friend was my savior from the darkened days. He taught me to trust and not to be so nervous and fearful of everyone. I even learned to love once again. Over time I ended up falling in love with my best friend and love him I did..... to the fullest of my abilities. It is so odd how being in love and feeling love from someone can make a slight glow in your appearance. How everything around you has a different look, a sweeter smell and a lovely sound. Laughter and smiles consumed our days and meaningful talks took over our nights. A beautiful friendship bloomed like no other between us. We both agreed that we were soulmates, lovers and best friends all wrapped into one. But I did suspect at the beginning that there was some dishonesty. I wanted him to know I would always be there even when the ghosts appeared from his past. That he was strong and could handle anything thrown his way. I beleived in my best friend so much, that I hoped that someday he would put total trust in me. This is the sad part of my story.... he never did. I knew he had potential to become the man that he wanted to be and to be honest, I believe he still does. I think I had more faith in him that he even had in himself. This man could of had the world wrapped around his little finger if wanted. Because he did have a heart of gold. As time as past, I now realize that it wasnt me hiding from fear and pain.... it was my best friend. I kept wondering that if only I would of been stronger to help him. To help him understand that there is and can be complete happiness in his life. To show him that no matter what... I believed in him and loved him with all my heart. To make him see all the good things about himself instead of all the bad. Instead.. he ran. Ran back to the past that he knows best. My Friend walked out on the people that loved him most and that proved to him that they would always be there. With all the dishonesty, I am sure he felt trapped. *How do I overcome all the lies that I have always told?* he would ask himself. Little does he realize that lies are just words. Words can be overcome. Its the actions that will always live forever. The actions that scar your heart and your mind. Someday I pray my friend realizes that love is unconditional. That there is more to love than resposibilities and fear. Love should be a feeling of butterflies and a connection of the soul. Love is where you wake each morning thankful you found each other, yet scared you might lose each other one day soon. Love is when you are able to laugh at each other as well as at yourself. Love is knowing you can count on the other person when the dark clouds consume your days. Love is where all the good times override the bad times. Love is just hearing their voice.... puts a smile on your face. Love is an unbelievable happiness that you cant seem to control. When you find that connection, my advise to you is to never let anything take it away from you. We all have a soulmate out there in this world. So my question to you is.... where's your soulmate right now?

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

5 posted 2004-05-27 01:41 PM

So is Balladeer, he just goes play a round of golf....

Michelle_loves_Mike

Senior Member

since 2003-12-20

Posts 1189
Pennsylvania

6 posted 2004-05-27 09:49 PM

Its not easy to love some one, unrequited. I have felt that stirring over someone that is near and dear to my heart. I am a lucky woman,,I have found a wonderful man that I love, and loves me,,,,and have a suberf friend, easily my best friend ever, as well. i didn't act on my feelings,,,never told him I loved him, but,for me, it worked out great...sometimes, when you aren't looking, the most wounderous things can happen,,,,,be there for yourself first, wish this fella well, and let love find you, cherish you, and admire you....

Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member

since 2003-02-19

Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada

7 posted 2004-07-05 03:10 AM

i fell ya.......... here's somthing i wrote awhile back
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charmsd

Unregistered

New Member
Posts 1

8 posted 2005-03-11 01:37 PM

I wrote:

"Between you and me:
We're back where we started 2 years ago. Except this time, my guilty conscience accompanies us.

If I knew exactly what your thoughts were or how you felt I probably wouldn't be where I am today: With someone else.

You were right when you said that we might be happy with where we are in our life; yet not happy with the decisions we make. It’s not late to change my unhappy decision.
Initially it was a joke, I thought to myself what's the point; Ryan doesn't feel the same way so I might as well go on with my life... And here I am with someone else than the one I'd rather be with.
Every time I see you: feelings of regret flow right back in me and we keep coming back to each other. WHY?
Is this tension between us purely physical or is it more than that?

I'm so confused. I don't mean to scare you with these thoughts of mine.
I hope you don't think of me any less since we went out last Friday evening (the butterflies in me still hung around even after so long). We had a nice time but I'm with someone else: “She's out with another guy while she's going out with you” What impression would you have of her? What kind of an impression do you have of me?
But it was YOU to begin with. You, that caused my heart to ache when I was hurting before. I was trying to get over that by just being with someone ‘cause I thought you didn't want this: You & Me.
I thought if I just finally pushed myself into a rushed decision, nothing would matter. But it matters; everything matters because you’re still around and I love that you’re around.

I’m standing here looking at my creation of a big mess and thinking to myself: What if? What if I was with the one I’d rather be with than the person whom I’m with? And if I am with the one I’d rather be with then I will make it right no matter what.
I don't want to be left with any regrets about the decisions I make and your thoughts would help!
I have no idea what you're thinking right now and wish I were in front of you to see it all.

I can stay here if I know you feel the same because love won't be the same if I don't receive it in return.
So tell me, is there love for me in your heart (I’m not asking for a commitment)?
Do you see: US? Can you take a chance on us, on love?"

I've known him for almost 2 years now. We knew we liked each other but sometimes it would be as if he didn't know i was around: only when there were other people around (my friends or his friends) but then other times when we're out with each other alone: he'd be intimate but it hurt that he would not let it known to me. So i let it go a year and a half ago. I then rushed into another relationship b/c i wanted to forget about me and him. During this time we still kept in touch, went out for lunch either alone or with his friends from work. But last week we went for a movie: me and him. He gave me mixed yet obvious signals that made me confused about the guy i'm seeing. I guess I still am in love with him and it hurts that he won't make it known to me.

Evi
Junior Member

since 2004-04-10

Posts 18

9 posted 2005-03-13 02:57 PM

Surprised to see this again, Quite forgot about it. Tahnks for all your replies the were lovely.

I finally got Closure. I realised that i was never gonna be his and he was meant to be with his Girl, gave them some space shall we say. I miss him an awful lot, and who knows what might happen, one day we might be together, i still have that hope. But im Happy, im moving on and enjoying myself.

Thanks All.

xx

youcan'tseeme
Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 88

10 posted 2005-05-21 10:50 PM

and welcome to piptalk

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