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quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

0 posted 2002-11-05 05:45 PM


[[that's what my shirt says.  it's some old school teal teeshirt from my old camp.  it rocks.]]

my mother was right for once.

i had an extremely bad night, and am stuggling to keep my head above water.

i fell down some stairs last night and blah blah blah.  i laid on the garage floor for quite some time sobbing and choking on my tears.  i just couldn't get up, even though our garage isn't heated and it's winter already [for winnipeg at least].  i don't know how long i was sprawled on the cement for.



my mother summed it up with these words:  'obviously you're still very depressed.  and something's not working'.

she was right for once.  i was shocked.  but i told her i needed to go to bed, i just couldn't talk.

i'm almost sick of fighting.  but there are quite a few things i still want to do.  i would just like to stick around as long as everyone else.  i don't want to be beaten down by some unforseen force.  it's been five years, i don't want to give up now.



i don't know.  i'm rambling and just need to hear the sound of my own voice - so i don't think i'm dreaming again.

/jen/


what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (11-05-2002 05:53 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 jennifer elizabeth - All Rights Reserved
Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

1 posted 2002-11-05 07:26 PM


i don't know, I've been deppressed before, bu you seem to be beond what has ever happened to me. I can give you my sympathy though.

<font face="Times New Roman, Arial, Verdana" color="#0066FF" size="2">"Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But words will break my heart"

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

2 posted 2002-11-05 07:59 PM


Well, I don't really know what to say to that except that I admire you for fighting it. That takes courage, something I'm still learning. I hope all goes well with you.

Kielo

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
3 posted 2002-11-05 08:25 PM


*hugs hard*

Plans are made for a reason, chica...see em to fruition! (too enthused?)

Besides, the world needs someone out there with your talent. Hang in there vooman childer lady....

Are you scared?                            BOO! Are you now?

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2002-11-05 09:14 PM


You know there is a reason for what happens.. we just have to wait sometimes and find that reason. Please don't despair! You will do those things you want to do (can you tell us what you want to do?).

I waited for a long time to take a dream vacation to England. I had to work 2 jobs and save for a long time to do it..but oh! the memories I have!!

Don't give up!!! You have a gift that needs to be shared - there are a lot of us that look forward to reading you. So hang out in bed for now..but in a few hours? Get up..take a shower...sit by the window and watch the weather change from late fall to full winter...it's a time to rest and reflect. A time to begin the change to a different life..

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
5 posted 2002-11-05 09:39 PM


I'll bet some people wonder where a few of the strange smilies I create come from Jen, but this little "hang in there" fella came along when I needed to "hang in there" myself, and was having a rough time.



You sound like you're having an awfully rough night. I'm here if you feel like talking.  Can you e-mail me or let me know if you're OK?  I'm worried about you.  

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
6 posted 2002-11-05 09:41 PM


M'dear, I'm going to call you.

Consider yourself added to the hitlist.

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
7 posted 2002-11-13 01:28 PM


I am not one to offer advice in this situation because I’ve not been on that side of the tracks.
But I can offer you hugs and prayers.
And like Kit says, Hang in there!

~Sheri

"Don't wait for your ship to come in ...
Swim out to it"

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
8 posted 2002-11-15 11:22 AM


WINNEPEG!?!?
Sheesh, no wonder you're depressed.

I'm just kidding. But don't be depressions' puppet. Cut a string or two as you're able.

Easy for me, right? But, I was well acquainted this for awhile.

You, like a very few others, have a unique voice. Perhaps this "writing thing" is what you are meant for (or, meant for you).

Struggle on, love yourself, maybe move somewhere with, you know, sunlight.

Ed

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