»
Discussion
»
Feelings
»
flattery
| Feelings |
|
flattery |
|
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz 
|
they say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. but i just see it as pure theft. it is one of my biggest pet peeves. very few things can put me off as easily as copying another person's little 'habits' or so forth. :: sighs :: why can't people come up with their own quirky little trademarks? this makes me very angry. grrrrr... and right now i'm so hormonal to boot.  this is getting to me WAY more than it should. /jen/ |
||
| © Copyright 2002 jennifer elizabeth - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
No, it's warrented. When people imitate, they lack creativity and as such become nothing more than those annoying sores you get on your tongue when you burn it. It's not flattery, it's obnoxious and like you said, theft. Try to ignore the other persons stupidity and continue on your merry way. These people will forever live in their own ignorance and you will always know that you're better. That is definitely something to make you smile about.  Anti Lemming Crusader - Fight against the conformity! |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I would think sometimes it would depend on what they are imitating, and how they are using this. Is it to better themselves? Or is it to gain a foothold? You made me recall with a wry smile the fact that a boyfriend of decades gone by, was dating both myself and another young girl. I had short hair. She had long hair. She cut hers to be more like me because she thought that's what the boy liked. Silly girl. |
||
|
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
that's great. i have short hair!!  oh, and i really hate how the email notification box is SO close to the signature box. hmph. we also need a LIST of smilies. i want an exhasperated sigh, not a happy one!! heh. oh my whine thread. /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Being accepted is the most important thing to most people. No one likes to feel they are standing on the edge of a crowd where no one sees them (well, I do but most people don't). Look at all the 'wannabes' the girls who dress like Brittany Spears, the boys who want to look like the Backstreet Boys. It's been that way forever. If we 'blend in' maybe no one will notice that we are different. If there's something about you that someone copies? Change it. Do something different! Then see if they follow.  |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I'd hug yer hormones but they might mix--and egads woman, that's the last thing you need! But I think I know what you mean--I made aquaintance with a neighbor--and then I noticed that she was dressing like me--no mistaking it either as I don't follow "trend"--there she was long flowing skirt, blazer, belts, scarves...all gypsy looking, but sort of tailored. So...sigh--I bought some mini skirts, and I'm having the others shortened. (I want to see her try THAT--I've SEEN her legs--hiss said the cat!) winks and grins. and my sympathy on the hormones. But no hugs...grin--DON'T TOUCH ME! *chuckle* They can be a problem, as ya know...  |
||
|
Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
I think it is so much better to be yourself. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I wanna be different...just like everybody else! |
||
|
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
i know, that's i have my own little odd quirks. and then someone copies, and so i change them. and someone else copies, and so forth. grrrr... quite frustrating. oh well. ::shrugs:: i try. /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
perhaps quirks are the impetus of evolution? hey...IT COULD HAPPEN! |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
 you trendsetter you.. I had a friend who copied EVERYTHING of mine...INCLUDING handwriting....sheesh..  Are you scared? |
||
|
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
ouch. that must have sucked. that's horrible! are you still friends? /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I enjoyed many of the replies in this thread. I will only add this: copying is the usual method for children to 'learn' new behaviors, and is generally considered a good thing until it becomes an obsession. I do see many people obsessing, though time usually heals that affliction and the 'real' person eventually emerges from their cocoon. Don't spend any more time fretting over it, just go on with BEING YOU and maybe she/he will get bored and BECOME who they are. |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
We no longer see each other, but I think she's grown out of it now (I hope)....but the thing is is that, everything *I* liked, she'd HAVE to have. She turned me off my favourite perfume cuz she went out and bought a 500ml bottle of it and doused herself in it every morning...  ...She was mega shy though, and would do anything I asked her (My old geography and history notebooks have copious amounts of her writing in them cuz she'd write out my notes for me when I got too lazy to do them myself ) so i let her copy me, I just changed a lot in the meantime. Are you scared? |
||
|
Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
 Cherish? I guess there's really nothing I can say or do to make you understand, but I can try. Granted, people who copy are annoying. However, people who will do anything for you are a whole other matter. I happen to be one of them, and when I give my friendship to someone, I make myself very vulnerable. I trust them not to abuse my friendship, but usually, by the time they realize I'm abuseable, I'm too devoted to back out. Its an affliction I developped in elementary school, and I'm not going to go into the psychological reasons behind it. They're not something I enjoy discussing. Anyway, when people have my friendship, I can't back out even if I want to, because I need them, even if they use me dry. So I guess I'm just saying 'Know that people like that are vulnerable.' Basically a useless speech. I'm going now, since I'm all depressed from this discussion. *sigh*Kielo |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
 Keilo, I knew that girl years ago, when I was trying to find out who I was, and back then I was more lazy then I am now. I dont think I would have had the capacity within me to know she was vulnerable. Granted, I knew she was shy, but she'd offer to do it, and I wouldnt refuse. Regardless of the fact that she may have been vulnerable, imitating is annoying to the 'originator', there's no taking that feeling away. If they cant help feeling vulnerable, we cant help feeling a bit peeved. *shrugs* Are you scared? |
||
|
Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
I thought I said that being upset when someone copies you is annoying, but that vulnerability was another issue. Maybe I didn't state it clearly. Sorry. As well, I wasn't trying to tell you you were wrong, just trying to explain that girl's point of view. I don't want you to think I know everything, because I have done the same thing. Now I can't remember why I'm rambling on like this, so I'm done. Kielo |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I just remembered something...back in the good ole bad days? I used to hang with this band and they all lived in the same house. (long story, and I'm a bad typist) but I was fond of tourquoise jewelry, and the lead guitar player's wife admired my jewelry...and actually asked me if I minded if she dressed her husband in a similar style for the stage. Hmmm. I was about 19 at the time--but I clearly remember being astounded. I did ask her "why on earth would I mind?" as I didn't recall asking permission from the native american that sold me the stuff if SHE minded if I wore her style. But it became a running joke between me and her husband, and years later, (after they divorced) I bought him, as a Christmas gift, one of those dolls that teach children to tie shoes, buckle, button and zip, etc. grin...so he could learn to "dress himself." live and learn I say... |
||
|
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
that is hilarious serenity!! but her asking was the right thing to do. it's curtious - proper manners. and since the lady was selling her jewllery, there was no need for you to ask. she was giving you permission to wear her creations. but to take something of someone else without permission, be it borrowing their shirt, using their words or ideas, well, it's just theft. plain and simple. and has good cause to annoy the originator. but i do have a few thoughts on this vulnerability conversation. i can be a very nasty person in some people's eyes. plain and simple. i'm a very opinionated person. people should learn to take care of themselves. if you're an adult of sound mind, average intellect, [etc] there is no reason why you can't take care of yourself. you've had more than enough time to grow up and get over it. and if people do take advantage of you, don't go off in the corner crying, do something about it. otherwise it's your own problem. i have no sympathy for those who let everyone walk all over their back. but a few things i must clarify: i do draw the line at those who just can't help it. children, the elderly, mentally disabled, etc [i do work with the elderly and mentally ill on a daily basis]. but your average joe, come on. and that's all that i have to say about that. /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... |
||
|
Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
*shrug* You're entitled to your opinion. I'm not going to explain, just say that I've had years to be psychologically changed. I'm not as bad as I used to be, I'm recovering. And there's nothing wrong with being opinionated. Kielo |
||
|
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
thank you very much for your understanding kielo. i was in no means trying to insult anyone personally. and i am proud of you for trying to improve the situation. it's hard. i just have no sympathy for those who whine and cry and do nothing. kudos. /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
BOO! Are you now?