»
Discussion
»
Feelings
»
What to do?
| Feelings |
|
What to do? |
|
|
Luther Junior Member
since 2002-08-15
Posts 17 |
Hello everybody. I don't know how to start...ok...here we go, For the last three months I've been in a relationship with a girl. Not just a girl, but the one that you see for the first time and you think you have absolutly no chance of being with her because she is like a goddess...that is my girlfriend and I thought the same thing until we started dating. Well, I guess I really need some advice from a girls point of view. You see, since we've been going out, she has not rung me, kissed me, initiated a conversation with me, practically ignored me. I always have to see her. She never comes to see me. I tried not seeing her for a week and seeing if that turned things around...NOPE!!! And the thing that really pisses me off, is how she can always find the time to be with her other guy friends and her ex, but never me. Regardless of this, I still see her everyday, I attempt to engage in some form of conversation...honestly, I'm doing my best to make it work...but I'm not getting anything back. I mean, I'm getting her love, but I'm not seeing it. And I don't know what I've done to deserve this treatment. Or maybe it's what I haven't done! I know it sounds like jealousy, but c'mon, should I be feeling this way in the first place. I treat this girl with all of my respect and all of my love. I love this girl unconditionally, despite the way she treats me...because I am greatful for what I've got. Her friends tell her that she treats me like dirt. She has said ..."this relationship is going nowhere". I want it to go further, for a lot longer...but how can it go anywhere if she says something like that. I don't know if I actually have a question...I don't know if anyone has an answer...just please tell me, somebody, that you understand. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. THANX |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Jordan Aarts - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
OK, firstly are you sure that this girl is aware of how she is making you feel? Have you actually come out and told her? It may just be that she has just got used to you running around after her and is not even contemplating the affect she it is having on you. If this is not the case then it sounds like this girl is treating you with very little respect and using you. You say that she always makes time to be with her ex, are you sure that this girl is in fact over her ex? That could be an explanation for her behaviour. You said that she said that your relationship wasn't going anywhere, I think that you should talk to her and make sure that you are wanting the same things. But hey it sounds like you are head over heals and when you are that in love people tend to put up with alot, just have an honest and straight up conversation with her and see how it goes, stand up for yourself, I once had a boyfriend who was just too nice for his own good, he just seemed to put up with everything I did, and I got used to it and took him for granted, mabey that is what happening here, anyway hope things work out with this girl Anya |
||
Alexia
since 2001-06-07
Posts 164Sweet And Sassy |
I agree with what anya said. But you know If you treat that girl that good, you deserve someone so much better than her. But you should talk to her and tell her how you feel. Maybe it'll get her thinkin' and realize how she's treating you. *Love might not make the world go round but it's what makes the ride worth while* |
||
Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
play hard to get....date someone else, make her see what shes missing....dont even give her the time of day right now.....if this doesnt work...it aint meant to be....good luck... Lauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Agree with Greeneyes, women seen to always want what they can't have, play hard to get, but I have to say one thing here, "be careful what you wish for, you may get it!" Love is a two-way street, and you meet each other every day passing. Good luck. The most valuable thing you own is a smile, wear it, and share it. |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
..."this relationship is going nowhere". Listen, and accept this, even if it hurts. Move on to someone who will like and appreciate you, not one who makes you feel 'grateful'...or maybe play really hard to get if you really insist that she is special, as others suggested. Good luck. Enough said. |
||
|
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
It seems like you're trying to fix something that was never really there to begin with. Sometimes things just don't make sense. I think it would be best to just accept an end. That may sound all depressing and weak, but think about it - how long are you willing to play the victim? "you don't need one of these to let me inside of you" T.A. [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (08-31-2002 01:40 AM).] |
||
|
secretlife Member
since 2002-07-30
Posts 359Grean Earth ,,, |
I agree with Greeneyes,, dear date someone else yes why not do it and see what she will do...dont think too much we all have like this situation,,,dear every problem should have a solution so dont worry,,,I know how its hard to love someone,,, Secretlife, (Easy come,,Easy go) |
||
|
MidnightSon Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 312between the gutter & the stars |
siding with dark enchantress here. you're not married to her, you got no kids... get out. go find the girl who not only does it for you, but can reciprocate. cause obviously this girl ain't into it. you said it yourself man. she's one o those unattainable goddess types? i know the kind. it's not gonna get any better. leave her. and if she does come crawling back, well that's a different ballgame. but don't hold your breath. hate to bear the bad news, but this can only get worse. good luck. (heartache tip: bad news goes well with a pint.) it's our struggle for identity that leaves us all unknown |
||
|
Luther Junior Member
since 2002-08-15
Posts 17 |
To all of you that took the time to care...thankyou!!! Your advice has shown me the door, I must now walk through. Leaving this girl doesn't make me feel guilty. I am going to put my foot down and end this relationship. There is someone else waiting out there for me...somewhere. But you guys are right...I deserve better. With all my heart...thankyou Luther |
||
|
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Your last post sums it up nicely...NOW, just follow your own advice, and don't waiver. There is more than one pot at the end of the rainbow... |
||
|
TradingSpaces19 Member
since 2002-08-31
Posts 134Arvada, Colorado |
Well I would say she is probably just using you for something, but you never know because she could be playing hard to get. If this concerns you a lot and you think she is being unfair tell her that you two need to talk and then when you're talking to her tell her what is on your mind and if she starts to cry for any reason don't stop to comfort her just finish what you were saying because she would be crying for you to console her, and that isn't what you wanted to do at that time. But anyways I hope things work out for you. and if you would ever like to talk or need to talk then please email me, and my email address is TradingSpaces19@hotmail.com Take care, Andrea Kruckenberg P.S. I am here for you. |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
isn't that the truth Sharon - i've found the best way to find a girlfriend is to not want one. go figure...  |
||
|
Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
quote: Pete |
||
|
simplyme New Member
since 2006-01-19
Posts 1 |
look at this site: http://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_top_ten/16_dating_list.html you've got to read through a lot of articles to get the full picture but it's worth it! unfortunately, we often don't want what comes easy :-( but there's hope - let me know how you get on! wish you the best!! a female :-) |
||
|
LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
..."this relationship is going nowhere". yanno, its nothing your doing, or not doing...its her, I think today, most people indulge in a physical relationship before they know who they both are, if they share some common ground. She has most likely decided that the both of you do not have much in common, or, perhaps she feels like you deserve better, b/c she knows herself better then anyone, and views you as a guy who fell in love with lust perhaps. I wouldn't play games, cause that can always get you in trouble...but I would back off, give her space and allow her. Love is also hard as it may seem, understanding that what once was, isn't a life time thing...and she needs to grow. When someone says, if its meant to be it will be, listen to that, and don't force it. Go with the flow, chalk it up to an education and be happy for her, and for the fact that you've found out now. Funny, but people today, upon endulging in an intimate relationship forget about the human heart...and that's sad. It's all about instant gratification. My best to you...and please, no matter what you do, always, always keep in mind, if you can, the heart of another before you act or react. Maybe its time to walk in another direction and experience life in a way that pleases you. If there are problems in the beginning, the problems could and will escollate...so it's best to shake hands and go forward, in a silent sort of way.  relationships take time and hard work...and regardless of what society preaches, you don't "have" to be a couple to be successful. If you learn to really and truly love and trust yourself, your needs will change, you will grow wiser and less needy...and no longer need approval from others to be happy. Knowing oneself is like meeting a best life long friend |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
