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Leaving Home
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Leaving Home |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
My son left home....I am seriously depressed...why does it hurt so bad even tho I know its right and natural? Kids leave...they have to to learn and grow...why dont they teach this in parenting 101? |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
My two oldest kids are gone and my youngest one will probably leave after graduation next year. I haven't dealt very well with it and sometimes (like now) have trouble sleeping because the house is so quiet. There are no bedtime stories to tell, no kisses or sharing or laughter. Yes, I know how you feel, hon, I know. One reason I write and read poetry is it relaxes me and gives me so much peace. Anytime you want to talk just give me a shout, I understand these feelings more than you could ever know! " I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis" |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Parenting 101 When I was going through this, my dear aunt/mentor told me that it is indeed the natural progression in life - and that you might try to look at it as a great success in your life. You've spent all those years teaching him how to be an independent adult. He's doing just what you've been striving for... between the tears, of course..  |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
They come home...with laundry. You'll be fine, Paula! Parenting 101 is NOT taught because if we learned first hand how hard it would be? There wouldn't be kidlets. |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
To which I would add Lady in White... God made kids cute so you don't kill them... lol... Paula -- what Nan said... yep They never were ours -- we just had the honor of having them as house guests |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Paula I have had three sons grow up and leave home. They are only a phone call away, and believe me when something goes wrong in their life they DO call. The only good thing about them growing up is that now they bring over my sweet grandchildren to visit. Once a mother always a mother. No matter how old they get, are how far away they are, I still worry about them as if they were still my little boys. |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
There's a good side too you know, you'll have more time to spent on the things you never had time for before. My two girls left about ten years ago, together, the youngest being only 16 years. That one we see only two times a year, in summer and at X-mas for she's a softballplayer, captain of the National Dutch team, so all her weekends are filled. It doesn't matter to me as long as I know she's allright and there's always the phone. I'm with Nan, they've grown to adults, and letting them go free doing their own things has brought us closer in a way. My eldest daughters mother in law is really demanding them to come over and sit all afternoon or evening, result: they don't like to go there so often. As for us, well there has been weekends I just saw her a half hour at coming and leaving, in between she was visiting friends, going out etc. I never thought much of it, but the result: they love to come over, 'because she feels free' she said. And I think that's a very important feeling. Mind you, I'm not saying your feelings are wrong or something, for you have the right to feel what you feel, no question about that, I do understand your sadness. I just wanted you to know how I coped with kids leaving home. My experience is that when you're able to let them feel truly free in coming and going, they'll come home because they want to, not because they feel they need to and you just wait, they'll bring all their friends with them too  Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/ [This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (edited 08-01-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I'm leaving for University in 11 days......my mom feels the same pain Paula...anything I might be able to tell her? |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
You know what, my daughter is gone but she won't GO if you know what I mean, she has her own children and still wants me to handle her life. LOL Sometimes leaving home can be a good thing, for the parent, too. I do know what you mean though. When she left California before me, I had a harder time than I thought I would. And now we are both stuck in New Hampshire. LOL |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
If it gets to be too rough for you, Paula, I'm available for adoption  |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Oh wow.. I'm so sorry, Paula. My sister left home, and my parents were depressed for weeks. I hope you feel better.. Take care. --Marie You think yourself a failure, but perhaps the biggest loss is winning. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Its just hard watching him go out on his own...I wonder if I've done all I can to prepare him...I sit in his room...touch his things...sigh And Balladeer? Just gimme those papers LOL I will sign them |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Deer... I thought Ron and Nan had already taken you to raise... |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Paula, at least Deer should be cheap to feed. I think Spam is one of those really cheap foods. |
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