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Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas

0 posted 2001-02-06 10:33 AM


Have you ever searched and searched, yet cant seem to get a grasp on love?  Hmmmmmm okay so maybe it's just me.    (Go figure)  Ummmmm well let me introduce myself first off (that might help)
    I go by the screen name Dark and I am 29 years YOUNG (Almost 30   eck!!)  I live in the flat lands of Kansas and have 2 beautiful daughters. I work for the DOC(Department of Corrections) and make decent money, I guess.  YEA I am a Prison Guard lol.  
Since I have been a member here , I have stayed pretty much in Dark Passions posting (No I am not scary either  lol).  I finally!! decided to look around Passions some and found many interesting things. But my concern is ME.  I cant seem to find the *love* of my life.    I have met many great men that I care for, but that *butter fly in the stomach* feeling is just not there. Or even that lil sparkle in the eyes that would make my heart melt.  I have been divorced for some time now and I am ready for a relationship.  Yet I cant find someone that I want to spend my time with. Could I be looking too hard for a *man*? Not looking hard enough or maybe my standards are too high?  Whatever the case.... I sit alone.  

Any suggestions are more than welcome. Thanx    

© Copyright 2001 Mags - All Rights Reserved
Rex
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 482
Houston, Texas
1 posted 2001-02-06 02:21 PM


Dear Dark:  You may be looking to hard.  It has been my experience that you cannot find love, it will find you!  Generally it will find you when you least expect it and probably at the worst possible time. However for love to find you it has to know where to look. Just make sure you are visible; be sure to get out and about and continue to meet people and love will surely find you in the crowd.
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-02-06 03:15 PM


I am going to have to totally agree with the above. Love does find you......just get out there, make yourself known.....


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas
3 posted 2001-02-06 03:51 PM


Like how?? Post a sign on my butt...saying "HEY OVER HERE! I AM SINGLE!"?     I just cant do the *bar* scene anymore.  I use to own a bar and I know what I can expect there.     hmmmmmmmm
Thanx Guys!  


[This message has been edited by Dark_kisses_Within (edited 02-06-2001).]

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
4 posted 2001-02-06 04:41 PM


Well, I would tell you I know this great guy (and I do...sort of) but you probably didn't post this here as an advertisement for a man. LOL! So, maybe, just stop looking so hard. Sometimes we look so far off that we can't see what is right in front of us. I think basically that I'm echoing what Rex says. Especially about the making yourself available and known part.  
Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas
5 posted 2001-02-06 05:39 PM


Okay here's what *normally* happens .....

     When I do go out and *make myself known*, I tend to be like a ummmmm buddy to the guys. ( I have always been this way)  I love to laugh and joke around alot.  I am just a country gal that was raised around more guys than ladies.  (NO I dont spit or chew  ..lol)  I believe I have a great personality and all, yet guys just dont look at me as they do other women.  I just dont wanna change my personality and everything for love. I like who I am, well mostly! LOL
Hmmmmm what to do what to do...  

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2001-02-06 06:15 PM


just be yourself

don't settle

get out. . .
think different!!  Chruches, classes, clubs. . . poetry forums. . .  . . . there are other ways to meet people. . .

have fun

don't try so hard
believe it or not. . . love does find. . .

that's it!!  (I know, it sounds too simple right??  LOL. . . I know. . .  )

----------------------------------------------------------



To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

7 posted 2001-02-06 07:05 PM


Something to consider, DKW....sometimes the best relationships start not with *that butterfly in the stomach* feeling but with a true compatabilty which grows into love, a love that is deep, lasting and true. I think too many people deprive themselves of happiness because they are waiting for that feeling of 'falling in love' (which is really just infatuation and never lasts long anyway). I wish you the best! Start considering some of those great guys that you know....you may be surprised at what may develop!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2001-02-06 08:59 PM


Hello DKW...to borrow from myself....something I would like to share with you...

Not Looking

we think we know
we do indeed
when first we see
the love of need
but we are looking

we think it taunts
this love of want
when wink of eye
causes a sigh
but we are looking

but it is when
we do not look
that by hook
and by crook
love finds us when
we are not looking

drops in, comes by
'round the corner
a sound on the hie
like a little trick on you
and sprinkles 'round
little clues
love finds us when
we are not looking

sets up a treasure seek
little bit of hide and peek
bit of dancing cheek to cheek
and like ripples in a creek
leads me on and on and on
leading to that new day's dawn  

then akin to lovely lace
you see the face
you note the grace
and all the past
has been erased
love finds us when
we are not looking

{and since I'm way past that 30-eck something you mentioned....I might know...lol...so take it if you want....leave it if you want....just know it was given in kindness....}

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
9 posted 2001-02-07 12:53 PM


sunshine summed it up wonderfully! Thats exactly what you need to do.

JR


"I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.)

Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas
10 posted 2001-02-07 08:32 AM


Well thanx everyone. And a *Special thanx to you Sunshine that was beautiful.
Maybe I do look too hard at times. Hmmmm anyways ya'll helped me alot. Thanx again

Dark

DawnG
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494
United States
11 posted 2001-02-08 04:57 PM


Dark Kisses,

This really made a lot of sense to me. One of my good friends brought my attention to this as she thought I would understand how you feel. Boy do I ever. Just today I heard once again I wanna be friends, but I cant be anything more anymore. Thanks for helping me realize I am not alone in this world. Thanks everyone else for your replies to Dark. They've really spoken to me as well.

                                 Dawn

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
12 posted 2001-02-08 08:59 PM


I have this clipping on my fridge and I think it's worth repeating.

You want to know what real love is?
It's not what most people think it is.
Real love is about decision and commitment, it's not a feeling.

That's what's wrong with people today, why there are so many failed relationships, why so many potential relationships never get off the ground.

Everyone is standing around waiting for "the feeling." They want to feel that spine-tingling rush of infatuation. Yes, that's right-that feeling is infatuation.
I agree with most here, it might be that you try to hard. I know where you're at though, about the buddy thing. I too have always been like that. I can talk so much easier to the guys, than I ever could the girls. I always had more men friends than women.

You don't need to change who you are for anyone. So don't forget that   Be who you are, and someone will love you just for that.
Never know, maybe one of those buddies really does like you in a different way, and just isn't saying anything. It's happened to me.

Best of luck to ya!  

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