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WaterFairy103
Member

since 2006-05-31

Posts 196

0 posted 2007-09-20 10:55 PM

     This is kind of a long story...
     OK, I've been friends with a guy for a loooong long time. I mean, he's my best friend, I tell him EVERYTHING.  And, predictably, I had a crush on him, and I think I was falling in love with him.  Then I met this other guy.  And he was INCREDIBLE.  I completely adored him... But I still loved my friend.  And more than in a friendly way.  So I was having some difficulty choosing... I told my friend about it, and he said that he was in love with me, too... But he wasn't sure.  So I decided to stay with the other guy, and I asked him out and he said yes and it was all hunky dory.
     Then I introduced my guy friend to a girlfriend of mine, and they really hit it off!  It was awesome, and they went out and we were all happy.  Then he started telling me that she was jealous of me and his relationship, which was ridiculous because I was over him at this point, and quite besotted with my boyfriend.  But I got where she was coming from, and I talked to her about it.  And it was fine again.  Then, out of nowhere, he says he can't handle the long-distance (both relationships are long distance, btw...) and breaks up with her on their one-month anniversary.  When I asked him why, he kept dodging the question.  I sort of let it go, and I told him I was mad at him but we were still friends.
     So today I said I wasn't mad at him anymore because my friend isn't, and he says, "Good, I need to tell you something."  I said OK, and he's like, "This ISN'T the reason I broke up with her... but I'm having a really hard time getting over you.  I mean, I love her way more, but I still love you more than just a friend."
     What do I do?!?  I don't know what to think... Any words of advice would be greatly appreciaed... Thank you!

We do not write because we want to,
we write because we have to.
-W. Somerset Maugham

moondogz
Member

since 2007-05-01

Posts 397
Great White North

1 posted 2007-09-21 06:57 AM

WaterFairy103, sorry to hear about you "situation." Here's what I do when I have a problem I'm having difficulty with. Beside my desk I have an old coffee can with a small slot cut into the top... like a piggy bank. I call this my God box. Whenever I'm faced with a problem I can't solve I just write a note...put it in my God box and it's taken care of. Usually the note would go something like this..

                               Sept. 21/07
Dear Holy Spirit; Thank you for healing the relationship with "friends name here."
                  Your friend moondogz.
                    0x0

fold it up, put it the box...it'll be taken care of. Let your ego make choices and be prepared to be dissatisfied. Good luck.
                  moon.

moondogz
Member

since 2007-05-01

Posts 397
Great White North

2 posted 2007-09-25 01:44 AM

Looks like your stuck with my suggestion...but anyway I'll bump this ahead, there are lots of intelligent people lurking about and maybe one of them can offer some words of wisdom.
moon.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2007-09-25 06:23 AM

first of all...what does "long distance relationship" mean to you?  Have you met in real or is this an internet relationship?

And there is nothing wrong with loving a friend, a good friend, but where is it going from there? Or where do  both of you want it to go from there?

Sometimes if your  "good friendship" goes further and then doesn't work out you also risk losing the good friend you had in each other.

M

WaterFairy103
Member

since 2006-05-31

Posts 196

4 posted 2007-09-25 04:25 PM

Well, both relationships are internet, but I've met my current boyfriend in real life. And I completely agree, there IS nothing wrong with loving a friend, but he wants it to be so much more than "just friends," and I don't look at him that way anymore. And he keeps saying he's having this hard time with getting over me... I just don' tknow how to heal the relationship with him without just making a clean break.

= ] Thank you for all the help, everyone! Moondogz, I tried your suggestion, here's to hoping it works.

I SPEAK my mind because it HURTS to bite my tongue.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2007-09-25 05:15 PM

just remember you can only take care of your own feelings and can't control how another acts or feels...in the end he will see you as the caring friend you have been...you won't lose him and he will be able to deal with it on his own terms~~

I wish you the best

M

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