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A crummy word for a wretched disease?
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A crummy word for a wretched disease? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Depression As some of you all may know by now, I'm a huge fan of a local columnist, Chris Rose. His exploits during and after Katrina kept me more than entertained--some days he was what kept me going. He was my hero. Smart, funny, a real "trouper" with a sarcastic slant to his viewpoints on life that seemed, well, familiar to me.  Then one day, I noticed his columns had diminished, and then they stopped altogether. I gotta tell ya too, at first I gave myself credit for being better at reading tone through text because I actually wrote him, saying, "I am a fan and I am worried about you." But no. Lots of people noticed. Lots of people wrote him. He wrote them back. He wrote me back, too! The only thing he said about himself was that he was fine. The rest was all very diversionary chit chat, something else that felt very familiar to me too. Today's paper contained the explanation for his missing columns--my buddy, my hero, had fallen into that pit--the same emotional hole he had termed "the dark creepies" in a very sad column I had referred you all to a while back. I've told some of you privately via IM and e mail that there is a different aura in New Orleans now. People are cautious of one another. I say that we look deeper into each other's eyes now, looking for signs that "somebody is home". Because I can give a grand-slam list of evidence of people who have "snapped"--people who should have gotten help and might have, if depression didn't have the reputation of being an embarrassing "weakness". (Just two weeks ago, I started throwing dirty dishes out of my back door too--tsk--unacceptable behavior Karen. Mad at me.) But I wanted to share all of this with you because Chris Rose, as he always has, writes it better than me. So if you are suffering from depression, or have, you might be interesting in hearing one man's story. A man who once thought depression was for wimps. A man who thought he could think his way through anything. Chris Rose got help, and I'm so glad he did. I had missed him. Here's the link to his story: http://www.nola.com/news/t-p/frontpage/index2.ssf?/base/living-0/116149796856910.xm l&coll=1 I am still smiling at the part where he confides that his psychiatrist chided him about the message on Mr. Rose's answering machine--saying that it wasn't funny. "I can't come to the phone right now because I am emotionally unavailable." Heh. C'mon doc, it was kinda funny--but it's my experience that psychologists and psychiatrists are not fans of self-deprecating humor. heh? Well--no. Because on second thought--it's really not funny. Living with someone who is actually emotionally unavailable is pure hell. And before anyone asks, I too, am finally getting help. My process may be a little slower because well, despite the hairs on my chinny chin chin, I am a woman, and my condition is little more complicated as a result. (translation: menopause) I'm also one of those folks who can't take tricyclids, but YES RON--I am getting professional help, and as luck would have it, or call it divine intervention, he also happens to be an addictions specialist.  I'm doing this because I woke one day and realized I missed me. That, and I was afraid that I might snap too, and instead of just hurting myself, I might hurt someone else. If there is anyone reading this who is nodding their head in understanding, big hugs to you too. Forgive my rambling--love to all. |
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| © Copyright 2006 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I've been there Karen...hugging you! Up the Down Ladder Beneath the palest part of me I dredge the damp feeling a lodging in my soul let go let go this searing is begot by moon and turned now too soon to dark too lank I feel like moss what color are my curls now in weight of world pouring flood all drown or dry as drought turns skin around to lust for storm and song of wind again I am further and least all in between the lines of me and where to find the most or best when rest is cloaked with dreams that dread and purple fizzles in me with my red I must be cure and fast anoint my feet slip yes into each joint and squeak so filled in memory of ballerina danced at ten and three Hazel daze of drain I pull the plug on frown and wait to see what stars come out in black or piece of moon though incomplete to fill me with the ladder climbing up this stack of down Love you lady! |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Oh man!  I love that guy and of course, I love you too. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
For anyone who has not read One Dead in Attic, you are missing one of the great books of out time. That book will tell you everything you need to know about New Orleans after the hurricane. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Ser...just *hugs*.......jojo |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
been there...worked my way out of it...and I am glad you are getting the help you need, Karen. I still have a few "phobias" I have to work through (like not picking up my own mail, and sleeping with the tv on etc.) but nothing I can't handle in the meantime...and luckily I no longer need any medication. It also helps to have friends to push you out that door.  M |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Smiling here at ya mo-- phobias... Part of the problem all along was I have a phobia of DOCTORS. I once went ten months with an exposed nerve from a broken tooth.  My husband finally got angry with me--pulled up into one of those little strip malls and pointed to the dentistry sign and said, "There. He looks like a good doctor." Then he put the car in park and said, "But you have to bring your mouth in there!" *wince and grin*?  |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
i can relate to this, unfortunatly, i understand where everyone is coming from... and always you are wondering when can i be me again... when can i go back to the life i loved, when could i laugh a full deep down laugh b/c i'm happy not because it was a funny joke or someone made a fool of themselves, or wondering what is going to happen next how will i take it from here it's always thoughts like that that keep you depressed... climb to the top of the ladder and down the other side thats when you know you are over it... best wishes, Krysti. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Karen, Oh sweet and wise one, it's always a joy to see ou share your heart. I struggled with adolescent depression and the some more in my 20's. Can't say I miss it. Stiil chuckling about dishes flying out the back door.  If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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XOx Uriah xOX Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403Virginia |
The thought arises to share three things... A saying... Life is like photography... We use the negative to develop. A quote... "Again I am reminded of the words of the Twenty-Sixth Psalm, "Examine me, O Lord, and try me." Disease is surely one of the ways in which we are tried by life and offered the chance to be heroic. Though few of us will win Olympic medals or slay dragons, disease can be the spark or gift that allows many of us to live out our personal myths and become heroes." --- Bernie Siegel A personal opinion... I have seen your bright shining armor and the golden heart that lies beneath it. There is not the slightest doubt in my mind concerning your victory. |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
Yep, when I read his article, I knew that you would of read it to. Seeing how you have brought up his name and different articles he has written before. I wondered if you were going to mention it on the blue pages. Should have known you were. I'm glad he did write about his depression hopefully more people will read it and see theirself in the article. I understand your feelings as menopause and depression seem to go together. Thank God we do have doctors who understand and knows how to treat both. Take care and as my husband always tells, "Don't forget to take your pill". Seems he is happy I got help too. |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
You've been such an inspiration throughout this, Karen, and now you continue to be in another direction. A human is designed to accept only so much and you've accepted a mountain of problems. Love to you, Rae |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I told a friend yesterday that the fact that this can happen to anybody reassured me. I felt some comfort in that. On the other hand, that fact tends to scare other people who have not experienced it. And I can't mention enough how much comfort I have found here, at Pip. I know there have been times I have raged against "the machine" but it's through this forum that I have met some of the most caring and understanding friends, and I am both humbled and grateful for you all. Sandgrain? special hugs to you, my friend. You, especially, remain an inspiration to me. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Ah, life ... one day it's kicks ... then it's kicks in the shins. Anyone have some healing balm ? Huggin' you Karen.  |
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bslicker
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
my head is nodding i've missed the real you the one that expanded my writing and also i miss the real me by the way i was over there back in May Bernie A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. Bernie Slicker |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Bernie? I can't remember May. This was just now really weird, 'cause I just walked around the house, asking those who are here, what happened in May...? we are mixing up years here. criminy  |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Karen, do you see what I see? When I look at you, I see a wonderful sense of humor, a wizard of words, one who appreciates and practices 'tell it like it is' honesty, a warm thankful heart, compassion, perseverence, a vast understanding, a high achiever, a protecter, a learned lady with a tremendously broad scope on life and a friend of many. My prayers will be with you and yours. Love, Rae |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Rae? The short answer is "no". But I'm too close to the subject to be objective. And laughing..yes, I have mirrors--I love mirrors, but more than one visitor to my home has commented that they are all placed so high you can't see yourself in them. (And hey, that wasn't cosncious, it just so happens that's where my windows are too--it's a Feng Shui thing with me...smile?) I have so many kindnesses to pay forward, I just pray that this winter of my discontent (<--melodrama alert) be mild and all these sweet seeds you all have planted are sturdy, hardy perennials. Like the sunflowers. (actually an annual, but who's picking nit here? not me) Did you hear about that Rae? SUNFLOWERS bloomed, wildly, all over our city this spring and summer, in crazy cracked sidewalks and piles of debris...smile--I took it as a good omen. Love to all. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
I hadn't heard about the blessing of sunflowers, but that's wonderful. God works in stange ways. See you still see the good, Karen. It's difficult for us to visualize the extent of horrors you've experienced and the unknowns and knowns you're still dealing with. Having no idea what kind of a city will finally evolve, or the future of it, has to be extremely unnerving. It must be as hard to stay as it is to leave. The familiar is gone, rip off artists prawl, rebuilding is slow and sparatic, while memories haunt. My prayers are with you. Rae |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
-Juju |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
This needed to go back up. Thanks for this post and sharing Chris Rose. ((Hugs)) Reg |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
K? because I know...because I fight this same battle...and yes....because sometimes I sure miss 'me' too. Hugs sweetie!! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Glad Regina brought this back up - does a person good to read this every once in a while, as there is a fragile poet living inside of us all. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This guy is so lovely. New Orleans, well, nothing much is sacred here, and Mardi Gras is used for parody, so when they contrived a carnival "throw"--a cup, depicting Mr. Rose in a straight jacket, he not only took it with good humor, he wrote a column encouraging all of the city to get our infamouse sense of humor back. We've all been edgy much too long. I hope that his column helps to take the disease of all mental illness "out of the closet." The brain is a human organ and is subject to illnesses just like every other organ in the body. Thanks to all for reading and understanding. |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Humor is a healer, and as serious as illness is, we need a break from it sometimes. Karen, you're so right about getting it out in the open. One wonders how many limp through life due to a refusal to admit there's a problem. No one seems ashamed to have ulcers, heart disease, cancer, etc., yet hold a shameful feeling about mental illness. Once some wise person said, "Normal! What is 'normal'? The only thing 'normal' is a dryer setting." Hugs and Blessings, Rae |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Chris Rose column - Times Picaynne If I may - because he is simply so "real" in an unreal world. I loved his last line (  won't give it away - you have to read it.) [This message has been edited by Mysteria (02-22-2007 12:02 AM).] |
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