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just thinking |
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Kimberly ann Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 61 |
Okay i have a boyfriend and we've been going out for 4 months and we fight a lot. He flirts a lot and he knows it makes me mad but that never stops him. I don't want to lose him to another girl. and some days it gets so bad we don't talk to eachother all day. People always tell me to break up. But something about him won't let go inside of me. We use to be best friends and hang out all the time. So in a way i miss just being his friend, becaue it was less complicated. But sometimes i agree with my friends to break up because...we never have anything to talk about when we are talking...we are mostly fighting about how he always flirts in front of me...either that or i'm mad because he said something mean towards me..which he does a lot. So i don't know what to do. i think about it all the time.I have tons of agruemnt with myself on what to do! So i need help from someone who i know won't want me to break up just because they think they'll have a change with him. So what do i do i'm so confussed. **please tell me what you think..** |
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sandgrain Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662Sycamore, IL, USA |
Am I getting this right? You were good friends but now after 4 months of dating, you pretty much spend your time being upset and afraid? If he has any manners, he'd not continue flirting to upset you or say mean things to hurt you. Who needs that? If he doesn't care for your relationship, which it sounds like, he could at least be man enough to end it. Sounds to me like he enjoys seeing you fear, hurt and squirm. I'd move on and find someone who can appreciate my company without trying to hurt my feelings. He's sick or terribly rude and immature. Rae |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
if someone loves you, or cares about you, they don't hurt you, or do something you've told them hurts your feelings and upsets you. I say walk away. |
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Kimberly ann Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 61 |
thanks for your replys!! |
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Frank W. Torres Member
since 2006-06-10
Posts 133 |
Dump him, the sooner the better. |
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Jess Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 243Washington |
yeah, I'm with Frank on this |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Just to play devil's advocate, one person's idea of flirting can sometimes be another's notion of just being friendly. And people almost never say things to be intentionally mean, though sometimes it's difficult to understand their real intent. Of course, I don't really know if your boyfriend is a flirt or not. I don't know if he is a cruel person. I do know, without any doubt in my mind, that YOU aren't going to change him. A relationship has to be founded on what a person is, not on what you would like them to be. Trying to get what you want out of another person -- any person -- instead of accepting what they are able to give, is a recipe for certain frustration. If you feel it was easier when you were just friends, that's probably because you had lower expectations back then. You probably, like most of us, based your friendship on what you received from him rather than what you wanted from him. Whether you leave or stay should have nothing to do with what he does or, even, who he is as a person. Your answer is inside you, not him. |
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Kimberly ann Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 61 |
thanks i'll take these into consideration!! i like franks sort and sweet and to the point, but then again i like Ron's answer!! thanks again |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
this happened, almost exactly, to me...except we weren't best friends, we joked and were close friends, but we only really talked when we were feeling down..then the whole, "he likes you, like him too" thing happened, and i let myself "fall in love" and now im hurting..all these girls, want to know who he loves, w/o knowing it hurts me, b/c i still love him, yet he doesn't love me??why? i don't know..these kind of things never work. trust me...he flirted with every girl within 20 miles of him..and it killed me, but no, nothing could make me leave him, then one day, my best friend in the world, started fighting with me, over him....and i figured, she's my best friend, i'd rather her be happy than me. friends are better to have, right? well, even after i let, the one i loved, go, she wouldn't get over it...and i realized i let it go on way to long, the way it had...it just doesn't work. tell him you want to be friends, trust me: guys you flirt, just cause hurt. seriously, its the truth. don't let him get to you when he says he really likes you/loves you, when you're trying to tell him its over, cause they know that you won't if they do that. unless they don't hurt you, please, let him go. its more important to be happy yourself, then to be sad, to make someone else happy, in a miserable way. i learned the hard way, and i wish you wouldn't have to. much love and good luck with it, -missy ps-another freaky thing about it, i was dating the guy i liked for 4 months, exactly, also...strange..=/..lol |
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Kimberly ann Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 61 |
thanks for that and thats really weird bout cool at the same time. And my boyfriend ALWAYS hangs around OTHER girls that he knows don't like me. so yeah i'm realy thinking about it thanks again!! kimi |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
exactly!!and a girl just sent me an email telling ME to tell my old boyfriend she wanted to hang out sometime w/ him..haha, i just laughed...he cheated all the time on me, so honestly its just best to not go out w/ those kind of guys..unless you really love him.. |
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Kimberly ann Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 61 |
yeah well as far as i know he hasn't been around a girl. and he CAN'T lie cause u can always tell. so it still comes across my mind. but not seeing him as much makes it so we don't fight. so we'll see |
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Kimberly ann Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 61 |
he's gone at 6 months total... i took ur advice thanks!!! |
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