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My selfish desire
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My selfish desire |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap 
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I want it all -- I want it now, and God help the poor soul who stands in my way. (taking deep breath) I have been short of patience lately. The sum of my life in recent memory can be easily defined by : "Hurry up and wait." I want a career, but first I must wait to finish my degree. I want to travel, but first I must wait till I finish my degree, then find both the time and the funds to do so. I want to find Mr. Right, but with my luck he's somewhere in that distant country that I won't have the time or resources to visit until I'm too old and decrepit to appeal to anyone ... What is the point of becoming a professional, if by the time you are in a position to enjoy the fruits of your labors, you turn around only to find that they, and you, have shriveled to raisins whilst you toiled? ARRRGH! I am this close -- this close -- to adopting a policy of "Carpe Diem," selling all my worldly possessions, hopping on a bus headed anywhere that points away from this dump, and casting my Fate to the four winds. Do I think I would regret it? Probably. But when I am old and grey and comfortably retired, I can't help but wonder if I will look back on these years and say: "I did what I wanted to do," or if I will curse the opressive common sense that let my youth fall to dust before my eyes. I guess my question is, at what price security? Just ranting. Anyone else feel this way sometimes? (Come on people, I'm desperate here -- LIE TO ME IF YOU HAVE TO!)  --Kess You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end. |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Having "been there, done that," I have just a few words of advice (since you asked). First, don't join the Marines! Turns out it was a really lousy way to see the world… Second, and this is again from experience, it is much, much, much, much (ya get the idea?) more difficult to sit in a classroom for however many years when you come back to it from an extended absence. There are lots of reasons for that, ranging from differences in ages to differences in perspectives, but having been on both the student side and the teaching side I can say it's pretty generally true. And guess what? You won't be any less impatient than you are now. Guaranteed. So, I guess my advice, Kess, is to just tough it out. It won't be easier later and it could be a lot more difficult. And I'll even give you one more guarantee: Your youth will last longer than college. Uh, unless you join the Marines… |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Ron's prolly right, but hey, what the hey-who? Life's short, live hard...'Course you wind up lonely, old, living out of a shopping cart, but who cares??? Actually, Ron IS right! Having done so myself, I know it's much harder to force yourself to school...especially when you're already working a full-time job and doing your best to make the ends at least come close to each other, much less meet! Tough it out my friend, you don't have too much longer to go when it comes down to the grand scheme of things and you'll not have that regret hanging over your head when you ARE old and grey! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hey Kess... I remember being a senior in high school and having similar feelings... I went to my guidance counselor and told him I'd like to consider going for an associate's degree rather than spend four long years in college.... He threw me out of his office!!! IMAGINE!!! Needless to say, he was absolutely right... Not only did those years pass like lightning, but so did grad school, eight years of a bad marriage, and raising two great kids... The good news is - I'm still not old, gray, or shriveled.... Oh - and I thought I found Mr. Right once - Unfortunately, though, he was going out to dinner that night with Mrs. Right and all the children... Stay in school - There's no better time than now... |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Unless you have a rich uncle, finish your education. It is the highway that holds the promise for greater satisfaction in this life. However, if Carpe Diem becomes the order of the day, I suggest Paris (France) So beautiful and romantic. Then on to Cannes for a paradise to behold. And then to Monte Carlo for a truly beautiful place to see. The reality is that it is our work that makes the truly pleasurable places affordable. Follow those dreams! DH |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I see you posted this awhile ago - but if it is till a relevant feeling in your life(!!) May I simply say I empathise: I have 5 YEARS to go... First I am doing my English degree - for 2 reasons - to assist my writing and to open the door for my OTHER degree (LOL) which is Counselling. So there I will be, at the grand age of 30, before I can earn decent money. Many are the times I sit up in the middle of the night and say to myself OMG, WHAT the hell am I doing...  But I will continue to do it - because one day I am going to be in the position to help lots of people - and a famous author who can afford to go anywhere (and add a strong, resolute, 'dammit!' on the end of that...) K 'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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