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Open Poetry #26
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snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS

0 posted 2003-05-29 02:41 AM


I’m thinking of running to the ocean;
Any chance I could get you to come with me?
I’m really wishing this sound I’m hearing
Was your voice...
So make it be--
Explain to me what you notice
When the undercurrents challenge the surface.

I’m wondering how your eyes look near the sea;
Would you trust me when I speak of such splendor?
I’m completely gripped by the notion
Of your face composed of the shore...
So indulge me--
Tell me what you know
About the way the light reflects under the waves.

I’m dying to know what you’re thinking;
Would you fill me in on all entailed therein?
I’m suddenly captured by the hint
Of your acquaintance with all things tranquil...
So follow me--
I’ll have to show you what I’ve learned
From a sunrise accompanied by restless tides.

-kh 12/02

just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday...

© Copyright 2003 snowpants - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-05-29 02:45 AM


awesome! love the ending! speaks so loudly, but so softly powerful...I would follow
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2003-05-29 07:48 AM


I’m wondering how your eyes look near the sea;
Would you trust me when I speak of such splendor?
I’m completely gripped by the notion
Of your face composed of the shore...

So indulge me--
Tell me what you know
About the way the light reflects under the waves.

I’m dying to know what you’re thinking;
Would you fill me in on all entailed therein?
I’m suddenly captured by the hint
Of your acquaintance with all things tranquil...
So follow me--
I’ll have to show you what I’ve learned
From a sunrise accompanied by restless tides.


=================================


Ahhhh...I do so love the things the blue inspires in your pen ...
these analogies and personifications of the ocean are pure poetry...
Splendor? oh yes...you write the blue waved reverie so splendidly.

hmmm....now ya got me wondering what color our eyes will be by Lake Shore Drive
(me thinks mine will still be moth brown..but they will be smiling)

Another very cool write poetess K ...
keep them coming...ya know this moth's ocean thirst is never quenched.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2003-05-29 07:56 AM


So follow me--
I’ll have to show you what I’ve learned
From a sunrise accompanied by restless tides


great ending lines..and a very good write.. now if you can move the ocean a bit closer to KS so us poor midwesterners don't have to run so far..lol


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2003-05-29 08:45 PM


well, will ya look at what I found.
Some body with a really good eye for photography took this...





HINT HINT  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2003-05-29 11:10 PM


and lets not forget my mothy faves....






(so I am biased... sue me )

Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794

6 posted 2003-05-29 11:14 PM


A pleasure to read, enjoyed.
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
7 posted 2003-05-30 12:13 PM


ps:  thanks for your reply...glad you enjoyed it...

J:  thanks J...I do appreciate your compliments...I'm thinkin' my head's not gonna fit through the door...SHADDUP...Lake Shore Drive?  now yer teasin' and makin' me more impatient than I already was     and about that ocean thirst....

Cap Ron:  trust me, if there was a way to move the ocean here, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT A LONG TIME AGO...thanks for the read...glad you enjoyed!

J (again and again):  now I'm going to have to pay you for advertising fees...thanks a LOT...cute  

Tim:  thank you so much...glad you liked it...

sp  

just a hang-up call and the quiet breathing of our persian we call cajun on a wednesday...

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
8 posted 2003-05-31 10:59 PM



Kris~
Again..it's great to see you around these parts again.
This is an absolutely gorgeous write...I love it.
Waiting for more...
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

9 posted 2003-05-31 11:20 PM


'I’m suddenly captured by the hint
Of your acquaintance with all things tranquil...
So follow me--
I’ll have to show you what I’ve learned
From a sunrise accompanied by restless tides.'

Very cool...JM illustrated for you!     Some really great lines in this SP.  And yes, the ocean...

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
10 posted 2003-05-31 11:40 PM


"I’m suddenly captured by the hint
Of your acquaintance with all things tranquil..."

Yes, that's the one.

The wind is coming in now with the rain and I can smell the ocean.

Thank you for sharing these images.

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
11 posted 2003-06-01 01:24 AM


This is incredibly well written.  I especially loved the ending.  Wonderful poetry!  

*Krista Knutson*

"If we have no peace, it is because we've forgotten that we belong to each other." ~Mother Teresa

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2003-06-01 02:12 AM


wonderful write, loved the ending
Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
13 posted 2003-11-17 06:43 AM


sp, there is only one thing more beautiful than the ocean and that is the ocean reflected in a lover's eyes. This is surely a beauty to keep.

Dee

Stand straight and tall, not the reflection as others see you, but as you truely are.        Clearwater

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