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Teen Poetry #6
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PrincessNets
Member
since 2002-10-30
Posts 103
NewYork, USA

0 posted 2003-06-08 10:51 PM


Sitting alone in the dark
I think of you.
Of all you know about me
And all I know about you.
It makes me sad when I think of
All the time we spend apart.
Hoping this will all come
        To a close soon,
That I might be
With you again.
I cry myself to sleep
Without you by my side.
I miss you so much
I just can’t handle it
My heart cries out to you
And leaves me in pain.
All the  lonely tears that I cry
Won’t help at all,
But lonely tears shall I cry,
Till I might be with you.


I wrote this one summer when I had to spend the entire summer at my father's away from the boy that I was in love with at the time.... hope you enjoyed it (I did revise it a little, so it is not the complete original, but I feel that this one is better).

© Copyright 2003 Jeanette Gabriele - All Rights Reserved
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
1 posted 2003-06-09 12:00 PM


I'm doing the same -- going back to my old old stuff (and boy does that modifier fit!)...and finding and polishing some gems that I just wasn't mature enough as a writer to do justice, when I had the inspiration. It's a good thing to do, I think -- teaches you about yourself, and can really give your confidence a boost when you find buried treasure.

Like this one. Well done!

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______________Ratleader______________

PrincessNets
Member
since 2002-10-30
Posts 103
NewYork, USA
2 posted 2003-06-09 08:35 AM


Thanks a lot Ratleader... I appreciate the honesty and the advice.  I am glad that I am not the only one who likes to go to my old stuff and adjust the ones that I think could be better and go farther.  

-Jeanette-

LegalSecret69
Member
since 2003-06-04
Posts 69
Virginia
3 posted 2003-06-09 05:21 PM


This is sad, but sweet....so much passion. good job
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
4 posted 2003-06-10 01:38 AM


I've put some of them to good use -- the shell of this poem, maybe half of the text, is something I wrote 30 years ago.....but it so applied to something I wanted to say now, and I just used myself, then, as a scaffold to let me reach higher now.
/pip/Forum79/HTML/001142.html

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Kaydo
Junior Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 17
Washington, USA
5 posted 2003-06-11 04:48 AM


WOW!!!  Where to start...  I love how the poem conveyed your emotions (at the time).

It was well written and i hope to read more of your poetry!

Wonderful job.

Work like you don't need the moeny, dance like no one is watching, and love like you've never been hurt.

morgansmiles
Junior Member
since 2003-06-11
Posts 25
hicksville
6 posted 2003-06-11 09:53 PM


Hey jeanette......dont be sad....i know your feelings.....i go through the same thing everyday with "you know who" so just grin and laugh...it makes the tears dry up and the good times roll lol!
SilentTears
Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371
Lost and Broken
7 posted 2003-06-18 03:11 PM


Wow...I really like this poem. I can really relate to it at the time, as well. You see, my parents are the reason I cannot see the one that I am in love with...they don't like him, so they're keeping me from him. This poem really hit home. Very beautiful...I like it a lot!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
8 posted 2003-06-18 05:46 PM


I love this poem and I am also going through a time in my life when I cannot see the boy that I love because of conflicts, but this was a very well written poem.

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

xEmperorEmber
Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 136
tx
9 posted 2003-06-20 10:48 PM


i know how you feel i dated a girl once with a pace maker, and her battery went dead.. and so did she. So at her funeral i threw a duracell on her coffin.....


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