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Open Poetry #10
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Bleeding (another old one, but hasn't yet been posted here)
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Bleeding (another old one, but hasn't yet been posted here) |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL 
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Here is one I wrote under an alias long ago in a poetry forum not so far away.  One of the times when a friend dared me to try writing under a male name from a male point of view. I think the outcome was that it was too feminine. LOL! Needless to say, I guess I failed the point of view attempt, but here is the poem at any rate. Please don't laugh too hard.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The knife of yearning, Slips deeper into my heart, Twisting with each whispered word. I am tortured, By such a wonderful creature, Who holds my mystery Because it is so much like her own. Are we two, Or are we one, With this baffling love? Or do we stand together, On the edge of the cresting waters, Hoping that we will be swallowed unexpectedly, Therefore having perfect excuse, So that blame cannot be traced to us, Keeping our morals whole in the eyes, Of this sometimes harsh society? < !signature--> My name isn't Baby, and I don't want to cyber. [This message has been edited by Temptress (edited 10-14-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
I must agree, the tone is a bit feminine  .But it doesn't take away from the fact that this is a lovely piece of work. An interesting point of view, albeit not male  . Honestly, I did enjoy this, Temptress.~ Beth |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Elizabeth: Thank you. LOL! Maybe I should have rearranged it, and left out the fact that I failed miserably at the point of view. Geesh..I'm kinda embarassed by that now! I'm glad you enjoyed it at least. |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
I don't know if I would say that this is too feminine Temptress. . . I feel myself echoing these words. . . I would write something like this. . .but, like all things. . .it's in the eye of the beholder. . .  Wonderful work. . . ------------------------------------------------------ That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Wow! Thanks, Sven. I'm glad you liked it! |
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