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Passions in Poetry

The Serenity Garden (journal part II)

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serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


0 posted 07-02-2004 08:34 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

If I may, I'd like to dedicate this one to all of you, all the members of the Tiarra Club, and just anyone who cared enough to give us a read. And to all of you who laughed and cried and shared with us, I'd like to dedicate this first post to "my flowers" by reposting a poem I wrote soon after joining Pip, which was about my garden.


"a certain perfect disarray"


Apple-mint sprigs, tiny leaves
unfold to sun in ancient prayer--
supplication
Ever strives to meet perfection
(daily dedication)
Lemon tree in bloom this year.
How perfectly ironic.
Blossoms fall--lemon drops--
Heady scent--seductive tonic--
a certain perfect disarray...
think i'll let it stay that way...
(Some things should be
just what they are.)
Broad-leaf fern, pine-apple sage,
rose-in-bud, "Society's Page,"
(she used to be all the rage.)
spears of iris by the pond
and just the slightest curve of palm
behind the waterfall--
White ginger standing tall...
and pots of basil
hunger for planting
bringing out an ache in me--
ever wistful--ever wanting--
a shovel full of upturned earth
droplets of rain, quenching thirst.
"Gentle hands are needed here,"
said the breeze into my ear.
"Ssshh..." It whispered me aware.



* * *


Enter and bloom


Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


1 posted 07-02-2004 08:36 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

*bounce* This is so exciting!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


2 posted 07-02-2004 08:41 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

You "goof"!


(hugging "Ki")

now.

Tell us a story...

Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


3 posted 07-02-2004 08:54 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

A story? I'm not actually really sure that I have a lot of stories that I can share here... Most of my stories involve lots of pain, which I don't always deal with in the most, well, appropriate ways... but I do what I can.

Well, give me a while. I'll try and come up with something.

Ki
Kielo
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since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


4 posted 07-02-2004 09:36 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

There you go... A story lovingly written for Aunty Karen and Danie.

~~~

I have this tendency to remember the people who have loved me. It's a habit that I suppose is partly caused simply by my "good memory", but a large part of the reason I remember is that these people stick out, because of a belief I picked up as a child. This belief has basically dominated my view of the world ever since.


I have very vague recollections of Mrs. Hill. She was my music teacher during parts of elementary school. I always loved her. She liked me too. My first impulse is to say that she just liked me because I enjoyed music, and I was good at it... but I suppose there had to have been more to it than that. That I can even acknowledge such a possibility is such a huge progression for me... it feels wrong, almost dirty...


Elementary school was not a happy time in my life. I was the youngest in my grade. I was in the same class every year, because I was in the French Immersion program, which was not very big. I was fairly socially isolated before school. None of this played in my favour when I finally arrived in school.

Apparently I hated kindergarten, at first. I ran away once. My mother promptly betrayed me and brought me right back to school. I adjusted, and all was well, until about grade 2. I remember being fairly isolated in kindergarten and grade 1. I didn't talk to anyone unless they spoke to me first. I got to grade 2 with no allies.

I don't know what it was about grade 2, but that was the beginning of the end for me. It started subtly – just little things like coming back to my desk to find that someone had left their garbage on it. I never said a word – just cleaned up the mess. People started to take advantage of me. I didn't say a word. That progressed to outright insults. I still held my tongue. I was ignored, reviled, mocked, and insulted. They talked behind my back, and they talked about me right in front of me. I never said anything to anyone. By the time grade 4 had rolled around, I extremely ashamed of who I was. I knew I deserved everything I went through. To this day, even thinking about elementary school makes me ashamed. I don't like to talk about it, because I (I really want to say know... but I don't think that will go over well) believe that it was my fault, and that there was something wrong with me.

I'm not saying all this for sympathy, or because I have to get it off my chest (believe me, I like it better not thinking about it). I'm just trying to make it abundantly clear just how precious Mrs. Hill was to me.

I used to talk to her outside of class. I don't know if it was during lunch, or if I just stayed after class. Somehow I doubt it, but I don't know.

I vaguely recall hearing her stick up for me once. I can't even begin to explain how that felt for me. Imagine being very, very cold, then having warmth just bubble out of you somewhere deep, deep inside. Sort of like that.

My most vivid memory of her is more personal. I remember exactly where we were standing. We were both in the hallway. There may have been one other person standing there. I have no idea what any of us were doing in the hall, but I was just standing there. I was probably just enjoying being near her. She kissed me on the forehead. I was stunned, at the time, and just stood there and blinked. Looking back, though, I'm so grateful for that moment. Thinking about that moment is the closest I will ever come to understanding that I was not entirely unlovable in elementary school.

Mrs. Hill was my saviour. I would have survived elementary school without her. I probably wouldn't have been any worse off, in the end. What counts, though, is that I will remember those brief moments of respite forever.
Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


5 posted 07-02-2004 09:37 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

That may have been a lot more personal than I intended. *sigh* I'm really bad at stories.

*shrug* So there you are. A story from Kielo. Enjoy?

Ki

Wisdom outweighs any wealth

Sophocles

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


6 posted 07-02-2004 10:06 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Hey you...



it's not too personal.

I was queen of the "cooties" club in grade school.

We had a young enthusiastic substitute teacher once, and I remember a day at recess when the other kids invited me to come play "pop the whip" because "Miss Whatzername" said they should play with everybody.

and yanno? They put me at the end of the whip and knocked me around pretty good too.

Gee, kids, thanks for the thought.



I survived, tho.

Thank you for the story, m'friend.

Yer a sweetie.
Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


7 posted 07-02-2004 10:11 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

*sigh* It was too personal. I bounced and lip-chewed and got hot and cold until I knew it was okay, which was a few seconds ago when I saw your reply. It might take a while for you to convince me to do that again.

No, I'm okay. I just worry a lot.

Okay, your turn to tell a story now. Can we pretend I'm not here?
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


8 posted 07-02-2004 10:13 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Ki, you can sit in the corner while I share a teacher story/poem as well...

and seren?  How pleased I am...with the titlebar... ...

~*~

Here's to You, Sir……

For no reason
a fifth grade memory
visited me today                 (saw a pair of blue eyes)
now bear in mind
I was a late bloomer
always younger
than the kids in my class
always the youngest
the latest to bloom
not much room
for self-esteem

but fifth grade still
has a touch of magic           (saw a fleck of gold hair)
when you're a dreamer
and I was a dreamer
who wanted to do

can a doer be a dreamer?
                                            (when someone believes)
sometimes….

HE was very special
and had a grand name         (Jim to some, James to others)
and in this time of
today when there are
really no heroes…
like there were heroes
back then                            (where have all the heroes gone?)
HE was a hero to me
he wasn't a James Dean
nor a Rex Harrison,
hardly a Sean, and in no way
a Wayne
but he was a hero,
all the same

they say your fifth grade teacher
can turn your life around
lift up from down              (raising hands to volunteer)
plant an invisible crown
with slight smiles
or soft sounds
                                          (wiping chalkboards, clapping erasers)
one did their homework
to honor him
stood a little straighter
just to please him!            (he had that "smile")
boys liked him
girls…had crushes….
and in morning rushes
he stood tall, and calm
and with a hand raised
in quiet wave
he waved us all … on …
                                         (and on and on and on)
he had that "teacher chemistry"
not like a dad, or much loved mom
but you wanted a moment
to reflect upon…
this "magic" of his key….

no way that a few words,
or in a moment, impart
how this teacher
touched all of our hearts…
though later that summer
during break
how all of us joined
in swift wrench of heartache
to hear of his passing
during summer vacation
a year before
the hurt of a nation…

today I had a memory
and it won't leave
a special one said
"…in you I believe…"
and it called me
back to a long past view
when he said
those words, too…
I've done my best
with my time on earth
to say to others
~ I believe in you… ~

Mr. VanNorman…
~ I'll always remember you ~
your lessons of yesterday
still ring true…

~*~

Ki, I'm glad you're here.  Sometimes we have to leave stories, to "prime" aunt serenity... ...then she tells the most WONDERFUL stories...

you've SEEN her garden, right???
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


9 posted 07-02-2004 10:14 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

soon enough, soon enough...

I'm just happy you finally joined us, Ki.

(been watchin' you lurk, yanno)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


10 posted 07-02-2004 10:15 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

and whoooooooooooos...see what I mean?

and yep, Sunshine knows me well.



I have to break for awhile (I'm supposed to be on couch patrol)

ssssssshhhhhhhhh...don't tell the warden.

Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


11 posted 07-02-2004 10:24 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

It's hard to sit in a corner and hide when I want to tell you both how wonderful you are.

I had a teacher like that. She retired, but I'll never forget her, either.

and... well... thank you... for just letting me be. Not like alone... but... just existing.

I'll never forget you.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


12 posted 07-02-2004 10:31 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Now, I wonder what would happen if Ki, Kar and Kari all teamed up...I wonder what would happen if we tri-leveled a duet...what would we call that, anyway?  A triet?

The Three K's....



something must be in the wind...
Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


13 posted 07-02-2004 10:38 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

Triet?

You know the first thing that made me think of was that it sounded like a combination of tourniquet and triage. Don't ask why; I don't know. I just do as I'm told.

haha, that's a good one. lol

(That just means I'm too afraid to respond directly to the idea. Don't mind me.)

Ki
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


14 posted 07-02-2004 10:45 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Well, we'll let you think on it...

it could be a good thing.  
Kielo
Senior Member
since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


15 posted 07-02-2004 10:46 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

If you felt like putting up with my nerves and my writing the whole time, it might go alright.

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 08-31-2001
Posts 14673
just out of reach


16 posted 07-02-2004 10:59 PM       View Profile for Nightshade   Email Nightshade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nightshade's Home Page   View IP for Nightshade

Hey who moved the sign to the garden's path?!!! Scared the you-know-what out of me!
Ooh, but I do like these new digs. Speaking of new digs....pics please Karen. Or are you still grouting? Is that how that gunky stuff is spelled? I am all hepped up tonite as we are having our garage sale tomorrow morning and I am excited to make tres' moola. Momma needs new shoes!!! Plus I have been eating jellybeans (especially the red and black ones) and I am on a sugar high.
  I just wanted to pop in and say welcome Kielo. You brought back many school days memories. Just off the top of my head I remember my grade 3 teacher - Miss. Webber I believe was her name. I thought she was soooo beautiful. But, then her makeup started to become very thick and her blonde hair...was showing it's black roots. Then, Mondays began to seem extremely difficult for her. She often fell asleep at her desk in the mornings. Miss. Webber wasn't at our school the following year. She did dress really neat though and high heels to die for. Anyway that's just one quick memory. I am quite sure there are more. Good night ladies and gents. Hugs all round! Chrislane
Kielo
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since 02-11-2002
Posts 1259


17 posted 07-02-2004 11:23 PM       View Profile for Kielo   Email Kielo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kielo

Thank you.

Oh, and I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I forgot again. *sigh* I don't want to go...

Mostly because it means I have to spend more time away from my girl... but there are other reasons too.

Anyway, keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I don't do well when I'm alone, and it looks like I'm going to be for 8 whole days.

Joy.
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


18 posted 07-03-2004 12:03 AM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

This seems like a cool journal. Does like everybody add or just 1 person? Because I started my own journal but if just anybody can add to this one that would be cool. LOL

Cold hands means a warm heart

Mysteria
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since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


19 posted 07-03-2004 12:58 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

I am sitting here smiling from ear to ear remembering "Mr. Webb," or Ted as I knew him.  He was the senior PhysEd teacher (is that what you call exercise, and sports in the states?)  Anyway, he appeared the first day of school in my senior year, and every girl in school thought he  was a greek god.  I fell instantly in love with his laugh, smile, and ummm, his fantastic gluteus mximus actually. He also taught Drama, so I ran to enroll. I became teacher's pet and then some. There is no polite way to put this, I hit on that poor man until he gave in, and he did.  I went out with him secretly until graduation, and we would sneak to see each other at basketball tournaments when out of town. (He coached the team and I was a cheerleader.)  One such exchange tournament with Luther College, almost got us caught, when I couldn't get back into the dorm and had to talk my way out of severe detention for leaving after lockup.  When I started University I dated him for another half a year, until the next love of my life happened.  We stayed friends for many years until I moved out of province, and he actually ended up marrying a friend of mine, who also was my age (guess he likes them younger.)  Funny how life changes, back then I dated only men older than me, now it is the other way around, that is when I date at all  
iliana
Member Patricius
since 12-05-2003
Posts 13488
USA


20 posted 07-03-2004 01:18 AM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

"Gentle hands are needed here,"
said the breeze into my ear.
"Ssshh..."  It whispered me aware.

This is a wonderful place, this serene garden, and all the different paths to travel.  Karen, I'm glad the thread continues.  

I am enjoying everyone's stories about teachers and their memories, most of which are so provocative of my own.  

I liked to see that triet folks -- that would be interesting!  

Sharon, I still occasionally dream of Don Workman, our band director.  My sister was the one who was closer to his age (six years older) and I think he had it pretty bad for her at one time but they never dated.  What a cutie .... those southsea eyes you could drown in ... and, PS, he had the cutest little brother who was my age!  Nooooo problem going to 4-H bank rehersals in the summer when his little brother showed up!

Sunshine, as you could tell from the two poems I wrote after you posted your photos, they touched me (not to mention your inspired words).  

HAPPY FOURTH, YA'ALL!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


21 posted 07-03-2004 01:42 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I want to welcome loner to the garden.

And yes, everybody's welcome m'friend.

and soon, I'll have to confess that I have been "fired" from house renovations.

It seems that there are rules to lifting things, and I broke them.

sigh.

I tore something methinks. So "control freak" serenity had to let go of control of her counter and trust.

grumble.

But I'll prolly be here more often.



For awhile anyway.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 12-05-2003
Posts 13488
USA


22 posted 07-03-2004 01:49 AM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

ouchers -- that can't feel good.  I won't asks what you torn (just guessing it's your back) -- and just in time for the 4th -- empathy here.  .....waiting for more stories..... now that you have the time....
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


23 posted 07-03-2004 01:51 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

smile.

It's nothing to win me the medal of honor, jo.

Let's just say it's a pain in the ass.



(sometimes I just crack myself up)

iliana
Member Patricius
since 12-05-2003
Posts 13488
USA


24 posted 07-03-2004 02:03 AM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

Sometimes, you just crack me up, too....well, more than sometimes.  Ever think about Stand Up?  
 
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