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Passions in Poetry

The Serenity Garden (journal part II)

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serenity blaze
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25 posted 07-03-2004 02:43 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Every time I sit down.

wakawakawaka

serenity blaze
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26 posted 07-03-2004 02:51 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

I'd better stop this before I have myself in stitches.



(somebody stop me...)
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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27 posted 07-03-2004 02:52 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

"Say 'goodnight', Gracie."
iliana
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since 12-05-2003
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28 posted 07-03-2004 03:24 AM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

wakawakawaka ..... now you've got me going!  Goodnight, Gracie!
muted
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving


29 posted 07-03-2004 05:11 AM       View Profile for muted   Email muted   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for muted

oh yes, very nice place ya have here  

i'll just settle in and see if the daisies grow  

you girls need some seditives LOL
Sunshine
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Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


30 posted 07-03-2004 06:48 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Julie, welcome!

Siddown already, serenity....

Jo?  Mission accomplished...so, I'm eager to meet the new one....

ah, teachers.

My junior year chemistry teacher, Mr. Ballou, was exceptional, as well.  On the scale of mankind to mountains, he was a Rocky Mountain high – such a tall, dark haired man.  Huge hands!  But so very gentle in demeanor, and he always bent at the podium as he spoke, “coming down to earth”, in a manner of speaking.

You see, I wanted desperately to be a veterinarian, and the previous summer I took a smash hard six week biology course [you could stay on track more in biology during the summer…and the ratio was hilarious – one boy for every four girls….] and did fairly well, learning to bisect and dissect “things” [someone is probably eating breakfast, so I won’t say what], and I walked away with a fairly decent B+.  But my algebra and geometry classes were what were giving me fits, and I had to improve there, before taking chemistry, so Mr. Ballou, who taught both the maths and chemistry…was exceptionally generous with his time in trying to help the young lady that would…

Ever wish you could give someone back his life?

That poor man would stay after school, going over and over the equations and tables and charts and problems, until he would fairly sing, “By George, I think she’s got it!”

Only, I would seem to have lost it by the very next morning’s test.

I needed to wear Velcro, to have the formulas stick to me.

And I don’t recall it being invented back then.

That poor man gave me several afternoons of his life, trying to make sure I could reach my dream.

I’m still unredeemable in higher math – regular figures, no problem.  And I’ve an eye for shooting pool, so geometry did leave a little behind…LOL…

But Mr. Ballou was a gentle person, and an example of those teachers who go out of their way for a child’s dream.
garysgirl
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31 posted 07-03-2004 07:18 AM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

Take care everyone. I'll see you all later.
Heart Hugs to you all
Ethel
Enchantress
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since 08-14-2001
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Somewhere in time~


32 posted 07-03-2004 09:32 AM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Morning everyone!
Izzat coffee I smell?
Love the new place Karen!!
Room for so many flowers to blossom.
I'll be back...
just taking a look around and pulling up my favourite chair.
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart


33 posted 07-03-2004 09:52 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Since this is serenity's garden
and serenity is floral keen
I thought I'd throw in
a little garden scene...

nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


34 posted 07-03-2004 11:02 AM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

Day 4...

Distressing to see
how the body changes so drastically
and the mind trying to keep up with it.

Bruised in heart, mine
hers in body, as feet no longer can
attempt the walk of nature's call
and the arms reach out in aide
but cannot detect
the touch of care.


Day 5...

Everyone crowds the inner thoughts...
nurses, aides, family.
Each knowing their need
as the shushing of words spreads the
inevitable, like a silent wail.

Eyes holding back the intensity of tears
trying to stay composed.

Each message sent to the brain
brings an inner gasp...
not enough air
to cleanse the meaning of.
Not enough time left
to trace a life's feeling
and spread their words
to cover her in a blanket of warmth,
trying to comfort
the ease from a body
fighting for want, in need.


Day 6...

awakens me,
through rays of sunshine,
hearing the sounds and slightest movement
of her life next to me...
manipulating the mind.

My hands fighting
to suppress the need
to make it all go away
instead straightening,
with words of encouragement,
the bedclothes.

Stroking the warmth of her forehead
and cold of her arms
keeping the feeling alive...

~~~~~~*~~~~~~

There were prayers coming from  these lips,
peace for her...yet not wanting it to be on this day
(that of my birth)

and still...became the night air,
and hissing sound of the purer
as I sat up in notice

almost three hours into the new day
she left behind     her pain~~


M

Enchantress
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since 08-14-2001
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Somewhere in time~


35 posted 07-03-2004 11:15 AM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

Maureen..I am at a loss for words at the moment.

Come sit in the garden..where we don't have to talk..
just sit and remember the happier times with your sister.

We're all right here with you.
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart


36 posted 07-03-2004 11:59 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine



As the new day rises,
and the fog is left behind,
always remember, with my love,
you are ever on my mind...

slips the sun up softly
I'll feel the moss again,
always remember, with my love,
this heart is with you, then...

sigh my songs tomorrow,
for tomorrow will ever be
as times will shelter me always
and thus, my memories...

~*~

Maureen, you are in my thoughts, dear.


iliana
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since 12-05-2003
Posts 13488
USA


37 posted 07-03-2004 02:10 PM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

And mine, too, Maureen.  
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
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38 posted 07-03-2004 02:12 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

"Distressing to see
how the body changes so drastically
and the mind trying to keep up with it."


Again, you have reminded me of my Dad. He could be unintentionally funny, especially when he was distressed.

The drugs they'd given him were finally starting to wear off, and as I'd related before, we'd been coaching him to answer the doctor's questions correctly so that he could come home.

The main question he had trouble with was a simple one--

"Where are you, Mr. Hood?"

He would always answer dutifully the name of some Naval hospital. (That wasn't the correct answer.)

But finally, one day we were confident, and he was sitting up, all bright-eyed, lucid, and massaged clean and shiny pink. The doctor came in, and we were all around him, proud and expectant that today he could pass "the test".

The doctor then threw us for "a loop".

Instead of immediately asking,

"Where are you Mr. Hood?"

he asked:

"How are you today, Mr. Hood?"

and my dad replied,

"Barnacles."

OH nooooooooooo....

My father reddened in distress.

"I don't think that's what he meant to say..." one of interjected on his behalf.

"It IS too what I meant to say!" My father interrupted us. "Those damn drugs ya'll gave me? They were like barnacles on the brain!"

Now.

He didn't say it, but I could hear it.

My father always said that when he was done with a subject, but he said it with a Texas accent--like "Na."

We breathed a sigh of relief.

The doctor then asked the usual routine questions, and my father had passed the test.

After the doc left, my dad was still annoyed with us.

"Don't ever tell anybody what I meant to say again." He was huffy.

"Yes, Dad." We smiled and gleefully packed his bags to go home.

*  *  *

That bought us about another month with my father, and allowed me the exchange of a priceless gift of memory with my Dad.

You see? The last thing my Dad ever said to me, was "I love you."

It was the last thing I said to him too.

I said it twice, too, because as I was leaving my parents home, something made me turn around and run back to his bedroom to say it again.

I didn't want to go.

*  *  *

He didn't either.

*  *  *

They say that time helps, Maureen. But I don't think that it's "time" so much as it is sorting these things out in your own head.

Remembering them helps.

Then, the honoring of that memory begins the healing.

*  *  *

Hugs, Maureen

nakdthoughts
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since 10-29-2000
Posts 19275
Between the Lines


39 posted 07-03-2004 09:02 PM       View Profile for nakdthoughts   Email nakdthoughts   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nakdthoughts

Karen, I had been reading your stories the  past day or two and had wanted to reply to them...but instead thought I would post the last of what I had written while sitting there with her...and of the last morning waiting for them to come and take her away...

How similar, I thought, were the actions and reactions of your father...to my sister's  and the stubborness and the not wanting to be anywhere but home and trying to remember to answer the questions correctly...but not wanting us to to it for her..

so similar

Thank you everyone for your caring words...I am resting with my Mother here right now, a few  days of "nothingness" before  driving her home to Tennessee again and returning then a few days after.
Its been a whirlwind of feelings and actions and I am not sure yet if I am still in the eye of it or  working my way through it to its edges.

hugs
M
serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


40 posted 07-03-2004 10:30 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

Take your time, Maureen. It's a strange place to be in.

I'm so glad you understand me, though.

I've been misunderstood about this stuff before. There have been some who thought I shared my stories out of a game of "up-man-ship", and it really hurt my feelings when someone thought that of me.

It's just my way of understanding things. I like to see things through others eyes, and compare it to my own experience.

I think that is the point of communication.

There's this movie I've been talking about alot--"Waking Life"--and there is a bit of dialogue in there regarding communication and the exchange of language and ideas as a sort of meeting of the "holy" within us.

The character in the movie said that she believed that we live for those moments of clarity--the "a-ha!" met in each other--she called it "communion."

But, I can also quote from The storybook, "The Little Prince" too.

"Words are the source of misunderstandings."

I think that is equally true.

And since ya'll all know by now that my thinking process is a bit like pulling a loose thread on a cable knit sweater, I'll trudge on further with this and add that I was, just this afternoon watching a favorite interview with Joseph Campbell.

He stated that the three greatest religions in the world are about to disrupt the entire world (this was before the war) because they couldn't agree on METAPHORS. (He was referring to what symbol each language uses to describe "god".)

He said exactly what I've ascribed to all along, which is that most people are essentially saying the same things, but mistakenly think the other doesn't understand because we are so busy applying them to our own life descriptions.

He also used an interesting analogy of religions as software programs in computers. In order to run the program, you have to use the proper language or it just won't work. He laughed then, and called himself a "maverick", saying that he liked a little of this and a little of that, but because of that inclination he would never attain the mystical experience of a saint, whereas, one who stayed focused on their own program and mastered it just might.

hmm.

Me too, I suppose.

Now.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say with all of the above--but just a thank you for understanding my motivation, and taking my little heart offerings at face value.

I think I write because I feel a need to be understood. And I read, and listen so I that I can better understand.

It's less lonely that way.

*  *  *

Peace to all.
Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
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41 posted 07-04-2004 12:10 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

I think I write because I feel a need to be understood. And I read, and listen so I that I can better understand.

It's less lonely that way.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*smiling at you*

you are poetic profundity baby...

  


Some things cannot be explained by verses that rhyme,
They are not measured by the commitment of time.
Some emotions run too deep to be described by words,
Forgiveness and understanding ...
remain the most beautiful words ever heard.

Sunshine
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since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


42 posted 07-04-2004 12:38 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

It's just my way of understanding things. I like to see things through others eyes, and compare it to my own experience.

I think that is the point of communication.

~*~

Bingo.

You are all such intelligent women...and I am very proud that you get past the ones who misunderstand you with such compassion...for not everyone has "been there yet"...
Sunshine
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since 06-25-99
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Listening to every heart


43 posted 07-04-2004 08:23 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

quote:
He also used an interesting analogy of religions as software programs in computers. In order to run the program, you have to use the proper language or it just won't work. He laughed then, and called himself a "maverick", saying that he liked a little of this and a little of that, but because of that inclination he would never attain the mystical experience of a saint, whereas, one who stayed focused on their own program and mastered it just might.


I'd put this in my signature line...but it's too long.  However, it IS a
brian sites
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since 06-25-2002
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usa


44 posted 07-04-2004 10:59 PM       View Profile for brian sites   Email brian sites   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian sites

maverickness
over
sainthood

anyday
anytime

yes

thass me

and karen?
please read RAW or antero
Joseph is stellar scholar
but is loathe to grab you by the shoulders
and scream in his awesome accent..

GO DEEPER

healing thoughts to everyone
the_loner_23
Member Ascendant
since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


45 posted 07-04-2004 11:24 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

  I have a question for ya'll. Why is it when your ex gets a new girlfriend it still hurts you? Tonight he e-mailed me to tell me that he was on his 3rd date with this girl. I read it and I got ticked. But I was the one who dumped him. I don't get these feelings. Especially since I was the one who wanted to move on.

Cold hands means a warm heart

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


46 posted 07-05-2004 02:52 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

so much reading, so little time.



and my my my mybri--now you tease a bit, but you know I'm smiling too.

I wish I were more qualified to speak on the glorious Robert Anton Wilson, but I was only recently (and briefly) introduced to his work, oh 'bout a year ago?

But I know you're not comparing him to Joseph Campbell.

(You ain't talkin' bout my JOEY!!!)

heh.

But now I tease...

I think that one is a case of apples and oranges--unless of course, you can recommend something by RAW that speaks with the same tone of reverence that Mr. Campbell uses in his discourses on mythology. His obvious love of humanity and gentle humor, his sheer delight translates to my soul. Smile.

Reading him is like a friend whispering to you, "ssssssshhh--I want to show you something" and he proceeds to handle the weave of myth, spirituality, psychology as one would handle a fragile fine lace.

Had I been so fortunate as to meet him, I'd have sat silently enthralled at his feet. It's that very non-threatening manner that allows me to drop the defenses that keep me emotionally attached to what I think that I know--and explore the connections of the mythology and anthropological results of the cultural ideologies that make up the all of who I am, as a representive of a human in say, this evolutionary stage of societal development.

He lights candles in my head.

Now RAW? Giggle, now he, or so I gathered from the meager buffet that I sampled, is also a feast for my mind.

But I can compare him to that wickedly smart ass friend we've all had, who can slay a cherished dragon of mistaken belief with his double edge sword of intellect as evidenced by his wonderfully sharp one-liners in the tone. His observations are deliciously sharp and clean, and funny as hell too.

He also enlightens my mind. Only he does it by taking a can of gasoline, emptying it in my mind, and dropping a match. And yes, I smile, because the fact that he can encourage me to dance around the fire in my own mind as the rest of me burns down also excites me, but in a different way.

Apples and Oranges. I love Bach and AC/DC too.

and as for the other, I'm reading as fast as I can, m'love.

But sometimes I just like to stop and think too.

*  *  *

serenity blaze
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


47 posted 07-05-2004 02:57 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

and tch...didn't mean to ignore you Julie, but I couldn't presume to try to explain why you feel the way you feel.

But if you're just looking for some sort of assurance--you're experiencing a very common feeling.

So you ain't weird, k?


Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada


48 posted 07-05-2004 04:07 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Oh Karen we said goodnight to each other only a few minutes ago and already I miss you after reading this latest installment - lady, I want your brain for a day, just one day.  It is the way you "feel things."  You go beyond regular experiencing to a higher level of consciousness that few will ever reach.  Anyway, I like Bach too, but AC/DC - sheesh Karen!

Now Julie, what you are experiencing is very normal trust me. I went through it many times, the only difference is I acted on my jealousy with a ritual I had created as soon as I found out where his new lady parked her car.  I always got great glee out of sticking a small potatoe up her tailpipe. Oh I am so naughty! If you know what that does, you don't want to do it to someone with a weak heart that is for sure, as it makes THE loudest bang you could make next to 4th of July fireworks that is.  

Oh and by the way Julie, I hope that your Mom gets better really quick. What a worry.
Aenimal
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since 11-18-2002
Posts 7451
the ass-end of space


49 posted 07-05-2004 02:13 PM       View Profile for Aenimal   Email Aenimal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aenimal

nm

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (07-05-2004 09:25 PM).]

 
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