okay, Dunc, because I'm feeling basically lazy today, I'll share a story I've told to a couple of Pip members already, and I don't believe it's one that I've posted on these boards before. But since I recently sorted through my closet and discovered the only thing missing was the size spacers on department store racks I thought I'd share this one with ya. Let's just call it:
The Demise of My Too-Lawge-Drawse
I think the year was 1994. I had my children 18 months apart, and being fairly destitute, I applied for the government commodities program for help with formula for the kids, and all the various extras. Including--ta da!--welfare cheese! nodding here, you guessed it, two babies, two years and welfare cheese--yep, my weight ballooned to mumble-mumble. I really didn't pay much attention to the weight gain, nor did I notice that as my children began to walk and run, so did I--and the pounds just melted off without my paying too much attention.
Flash forward to carnival, of that same year, 1994. One of my favorite parades (Alla) rolls near my mother's home, and I had acquired a double stroller for safety's sake for my children for the sole purpose of attending parades. (With room for a small ice chest left over too!) The streets were blocked, allowing pedestrians to walk in the street to the parade route. While I was walking, I felt a sudden rush of breeze, and yep, my too-lawge-drawse had fallen to my ankles beneath my crepe maxi skirt.
Hmmm. What to do? I'm surrounded by hundreds of people in broad daylight, and I really didn't want to draw attention to my plight by stopping to pull them up, nor did I want to fight the damned things for three hours while I did my Mardi Gras thang. So? I simply stepped out of them casually and continued walking. I was a bit amused, naturally, and my friend wondered what on earth I was snickering about, so I turned around and discreetly pointed them out to her, explaining what had happened.
"you mean you're just going to leave them there?"
Um, why not? After all, I pointed out, they don't fit.
But then my unnatural paranoia got the best of me, and I began to sweat a bit, convinced that someone would come along and KNOW they belonged to me.
(*chuckle* My sister said, "Yeah, right Karen. Someone was going to come along and say to their buddy, 'look, there's a pair of panties.' and the buddy would reply, 'OMG, those are Karen's!" )
sigh. Okay, so I'm a little paranoid.
But then it occurred to me, that this IS New Orleans, and one of the most popular throws from the floats of our illustrious parades is--PANTIES!
I paled in horror, thinking of some proud drunk waving my underwear in the air like a trophy and decided that no, I couldn't have that. (Not in public, anyway--wicked grin.)
So I very casually pushed the stroller back to where they were sadly abandoned, and kicked them discreetly into the gutter on the curb.
So there you have it, Dunc. That's the demise of my "too lawge drawse".
Your turn. Tell me, do you have some interesting stories regarding your underwear?
C'mon. "Throw me somethin' mister!"
[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (12-06-2003 03:44 PM).]