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The Personals |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563
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he took out an ad, in her vapid newspaper life, so tantalizing-- cool lapis neon and bold tiger slashes, with supple leather messages. she postponed publication, till he could add his byline to her evolving editions, adding color, increasing circulation. she no longer bothers to edit his pieces, and gives him literary license, sending them to press without a second thought. mia [This message has been edited by miapoetess (edited 10-29-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 warmhrt - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
yes, no matter how we try to edit, some folks still want the original message to get through... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Mia yay, i much preferred this to your other recent post. The allusion, innuendo and just plain fun made it a really worthwhile read without even thinking about much else. I thought you did the whole newspaper extended metaphor thing very well indeed. Right from the title itself through the first line, (“vapid” i thought went really well with the idea of the shallowness of most newspapers and the lives they report) and sustained to the end. The image of the playboy temptation was (for me) only just on the edge of credibility, but then that’s probably because (as certain people are fond of reminding me) I’m over 40.....lol. But it worked i think and “supple leather messages” is brimming with implications, which i shall refrain from delving into here for fear of provoking a: “I’m shocked totally shocked reaction” from our resident Nun......lol  it gets better: “Evolving editions” ...lol “increasing circulation” ~grin~ ..... and then the final seduction and capitulation in the final stanza was great with yet more little gems......lol. One tiny tiny query...... “his pieces” in the final stanza is plural ..yet two lines later you use the singular “it” ... maybe “them”....no? This sort of stuff i love mia ...thanks for the read ...  Philip |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Sunshine, Nice to meet you. Was that a comment on my poem, or a comment on others poetry? It's a little vague...but thanks anyway? mia PT (nice and short, yet identifies you), So, you like this kind of poetry, huh? Do tell...specifically what kind would you call this? Fun? Ahhhh, PT, with your being over 40, I think I know what you mean once I reread it again. Don't really know what my intentions were when I wrote this, but I was writing about a female editor and a newbie male writer. mia ...got to be somewhere better than in the middle...~Wallflowers |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
quote: can't tell you specifically mia i guess poetry doesn't fall into neat categories does it? but i like extended metaphors and linking allusions and stuff and this poem reminded me of someone else who used to post here (mentioning no names jenni ).yes of course it was about a female editor and a newbie male writer but it was also an extended metaphor and great use of allusion and double meaning giving a cute perspective on the developing relationship between them ..... and yes it was fun as well ! I'm sure you knew your intentions very well ..or if "you" didn't, your subconscious did! and btw PT stands for "physical training" over here ...heh heh .... i can live with that acronym if you can ......LOL again, a nice poem mia PT hey and ...~splutter~ less of the "with you being over 40" THANK YOU !! sheesh .... [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 10-31-2000).] |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Very well done Mia,,,and though I was born in '57 I am not really over 40 am I???---I can't be because I found it not at all lacking in credibliliy, in fact it seems pretty much true to form...( now how would Sir P know who it was about... the man is a bloody sorcerer).. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
face up to it jamie yer over 40, i know that coz i'm 1957 as well .... but i still know a tiger stripe and a supple leather message when i see one ...heh .. on a more serious note - this is the type of well written poetry that can produce different reactions in different readers - nobody is necessarily right or wrong even the writer there's a great thread i think in Philosophy with Brad engaged in explaining why the reader is always "right"..... perhaps i should also make it clear that if i ever say "this is about" it actually means "IMHO this is about" ... and of course all opinions are valid .. are they not For me this poem was full of all sorts of clever and amusing bits - but if someone else just sees a boring old newspaper office and a printing press well that's their problem ...heh heh hey, Mia.... you get to be told a third time by me that this was a kewl poem which rocks (is that contemporary enough?) PT [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 10-31-2000).] |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
PT, You are totally right. I was just messin' with ya...I knew what I was writing, and meant it to be provocative. As you said, though, every reader is right!! Thanks for the comments, Mr. Keewl, mia (I figured out how to use these little faces... )Prometheus, I thank you for your support (we yanks do have to stick together...never know what the Brits have up their sleeves), but I was just joking when I acted like I didn't know the real "type" of poem this was (to razz PT a little). See the above response for a better explanation, and thanks again. mia Oh...PT, I just thought of a keewler name for ya...Cruiser. We have a car here called the PT Cruiser, and the last time I typed out "PT", I thought of it. Seems to fit you...Cruiser...yeah...do you like it? mia < !signature--> ...got to be somewhere better than in the middle...~Wallflowers [This message has been edited by miapoetess (edited 10-31-2000).] |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
yeah yeah Cruiser PT ....whatever, as long as it's not Phil ..yuck why am i never sure if your razzing me or not .....lol... i was almost sure this time because i couldn't believe someone of your ingenuity and intelligence could write a shallow poem ....heh heh  anyway thanks again Mia ...now if you get a moment go check out these from jenni - i think you'll like them: /pip/Forum12/HTML/000859.html /pip/Forum12/HTML/000889.html see ya later PT Cruiser Philip P ...(need a notebook for my own name soon ...lol) |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Now the Brit's calling me shallow! Well, Cruiser, I decided I like PT better (easier to type), and doesn't carry the connotations of the other. So, that's it then, PT. Liked the poems...thanks. mia ...got to be somewhere better than in the middle...~Wallflowers |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
mia! stop encouraging philip! pretty soon he'll be making up his own names for himself and demanding we adress him as such!!! (much mock indignation) of course, i too thought you crafted a clever poem. but, i hate the way you have her turn into a big pile of feminine goo for this boy at the end. What, is she no longer committed to her job now, why does she no longer review his pieces? why would she give up that power? Why should she marginalize who she is and what she has worked for because a sexy sexy writer man ho likes to wear leather britches swept into her life. I imagine you set out to make her seem intellegent, giving her the editor's position. do you realize how ditzy you make her seem when you say she no longer bothers to do her job? ----not meant to be a ranting diatribe, only came out that way....Elyse really is not a violent feminist, she promises, dont be mad mia, i was just diapointed. i still love you luv Elyse |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
quote: geez....lol and this from the lady who melts for european men .... er ..what was that about feminine goo? hey but seriously elyse i think you overdo it just a bit .. i mean check out the word "vapid" in the second line: "Lacking liveliness", combined with "newspaper" - this woman has a shallow and dull life ...no? ok ok so she might be an editor, fine, but this is just the words, the MEANING is what is important in this poem - the second line signals that this has little to do with the actual act of working at a newspaper and everything to do with a life in a mess and needing something to enliven it. And so ok, the "something" is a flash playboy type. But lets get real here; the rest of the poem isn't about newspapers or work careers - this is a woman who was down, overworked, feeling grey - who suddenly has her life cheered up by an exciting young guy. And lets face it, what's the point of a high-powered job or intelligence or even money if your life is flat and emotionally barren - maybe Mia's poem is also a commentary on getting priorities right in this world where "success" is often measured in a warped way .....who's to say that she doesn't deliberately CHOOSE to let her work slip, who's to say that she doesnt CHOOSE to adopt a "what the hell" attitude, just to get some excitement into her life and start living rather than working. In a subtle way elyse surely the argument you present is in fact making a presumption that actually restricts "choice" - if women (and in fact men) are driven in the way your reply logically seems to be suggesting they should be then what chance for excitement, what chance for youth, what chance for loving and what chance for life? ok ok ... lol... rant over ... you just hit a subject i know something about ...lol .....and btw elyse thanks for that reply it just revealed further depth to Mia's poem that i hadn't really spotted first time around thanks to both of you PT |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Elyse, Glad you enjoyed...but have you ever not been totally blown over by someone? It wouldn't matter who you were, what you're principles are...this woman just let go, as we all should at least once in our lives (if not more ). Think you get the pic a little clearer now?mia Hi PT...I can tell you got it. ...got to be somewhere better than in the middle...~Wallflowers |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
mia - no, sad to say (i suppose sad...) i have not. but i will take your word for it see below for adressing my other comments...philip - i see it differently now. she was never in a position of power, never tthe together professional i would have had her be. it makes a difference, no? it did come out over the top, didnt it? yes, well i knew that when i posted it. i choose to blame it on the influence of the protestors who have been camping out on the quad for a coupla days now. riiiiiight. its their fault! luv Elyse |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
hi mia ... did i say this was a nice poem? ..lol... elyse hey - what you said was fine by me, and it made me think again, and harder, about what was going on here, so give the poor protestors a break ..lol they did us all a favour ... if that's you "going over the top" what are you like when your laid back? (er... ahem ..is that the right phrase?.......sheesh i AM gettin' old) see ya both ... and great thread btw PT (Philip) |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Elyse, Why can't one be a total professional, yet still fall madly in love (and lust)? If the two are mixed, it only becomes more interesting (and, of course, this woman still has her head on straight). mia ...got to be somewhere better than in the middle...~Wallflowers |
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