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Open Poetry #40
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Without You
| Open Poetry #40 |
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Without You |
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Devious Intellectual Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 112 |
Please critique itttttt as hard as you want or let me whats ur favorite line thanks Sin Ti, Without You Fasting from common wants and desires does good the soul But darling you're that particular glue that holds me whole Love runs parallel with craze so when you walked through that door I became crazy, farfetched because only you I adore It's never smart to put all your treasures in the same chest Because when that sly thief creeps in the night he takes your best Call me obsessed; guess my angel finally got her wings I'm just up that sycamore tree; you’re walking with the king If our paths cross again I think I'd give a white rose All for that one smile that like northern lights steadily glows Heartbrokenness is the poorest of all poverties How could i lose the finest of the potter's potteries? |
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| © Copyright 2007 Paul - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I loved every line nice ending lines too |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
How painful! need a good cry. "But darling you're that particular glue that holds me whole" I like this expression. "Heartbrokenness is the poorest of all poverties" how true! very emotional. enjoyed |
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Robert Frazier Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014 |
you have a way with words and thoughts . . . "the poorest of all poverties" - - this is deep, rich! I enjoyed very much! Robert |
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SATURN Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 78ok,us |
very good i loved every line. |
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paullallady Member
since 2007-04-03
Posts 262Michigan |
beautiful and yet sad. Your rhythm at times was a little choppy, but barely noticable. wonderful poem. |
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