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Open Poetry #23
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SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453


0 posted 2002-10-19 03:30 PM


Then and Now

I cannot say
  I knew my mother well
Being the fourth of five girls
  she had her hands full
I used to walk my little sister
  to school each day
I was so shy
  a skinny kid wishing I were a boy

Mother worked most days
  the telephone was as close as we would get
My little sister
  chubby cheeks was so spunky
I knew she was the favorite
  I was sent away waiting for her arrival
Five can be a very old age
  I think it was then I first realized
what it was to be on my own

I learned to love my sister
  It did not come easily
She had the spotlight
  A mere shadow was I
lingering only to insure her safety
  Still, today she has the power to over rule me
I guard her like the lioness
  watching over her cub

She has children of her own now
  I have none
She is a family bear who
  hibernates all four seasons
Time and distance leaves me longing for
  a tighter connection
But, the telephone is as close as I can get



[This message has been edited by SimplyGold (10-19-2002 03:53 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 SimplyGold - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2002-10-19 03:35 PM


A strong piece of writing and then then ending just blows one away!  I enjoyed this, very much.  

If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream...

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

2 posted 2002-10-19 03:55 PM


Thank you Gentle Spirit.

Affectionately,
SG

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2002-10-19 04:44 PM


SG

Even growing up in the same family doesn't guarantee closeness among its members. We each have our own path to walk, lessons to learn...

I felt closer to you as you shared a part of your life with us.

~ Remember you are only as distant as the next phone call! ~

Linda

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

4 posted 2002-10-19 05:29 PM


Thank you Linda,

What a sweet reply. I've been encouraged to write more succintly and less abstractly. So, I've been concentrating on events to help me be a little more illustrative in my writing. A risky thing to do in any public forum (being personal). I hope I'm accomplishing this!

I continue to look for your poems.


SG

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2002-10-19 07:24 PM




(big hugggssssssss) I can understand how hard it must feel to be apart and you can only phone-call her but I believe time does help people grow and I am happy you have become the loving person you were destined to be as she has too and it is important for us to follow our own paths, sometimes people want me to write practical too but that is not my style and I am proud of what I write! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2002-10-19 08:10 PM


Simply Gold, this is a very good poem. I can relate to it, too, because I only have one brother (no sisters) and he lives all the way in Illinois. So, I don't get to see him very often. Thanks for sharing.
Love to All,
Ethel

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

7 posted 2002-10-19 09:04 PM


Dear Noah,

You write beautiful poetry. I'm envious of the way you are able to express your thoughts and feelings. I'm working on being able to write more descriptively. An area that you, my dear, have mastered.


SG

Thanks for peeking at my poem. I hope you read my reply to your recent post. Sent to you in earnest for I have been there myself.

[This message has been edited by SimplyGold (10-19-2002 09:08 PM).]

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

8 posted 2002-10-19 09:06 PM


Ethel,

I always wished I'd had a brother. I'm sure I've missed out.

Thank you for reading my poem and commenting.

SG

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
9 posted 2002-10-19 10:24 PM


SG,

this was so beautiful both in it's
strength and sheer honesty. i'd say
you are mastering "personal" very well.
first time i've read your work, i will
for sure be looking for more. take
care!
amy

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

regards2you
Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940
California
10 posted 2002-10-19 11:45 PM


SG,

I think you did so well with this.

I especially liked:

  "five can be a very old age"

and down further:

"she is a family bear who hibernates
all four seasons"

both lines say so much....

If you were trying hard to accomplish a new kind of writing no one would know for it came off smoothly and naturally,  as if you always write like this.

Thanks for having the courage to be vulnerable and tell us an interesting part of your life.

Warm regards,
Pat  


..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

[This message has been edited by regards2you (10-20-2002 08:52 AM).]

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