»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #5
»
Parting
| Teen Poetry #5 |
|
Parting |
|
|
Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
|
Isn't it hot in here? Pull open the curtains. Better yet, open all of the doors. I cannot breathe. Tonight, I'm certain that I'll never return, but I'm wrong, of course. I won't say "good-bye," I don't believe in parting, -- it is never easy for me to endure. You are, as always, calm and cold hearted. Tonight, I'm brittle and insecure. Handle with care, wrap my heart in your warm embrace, caress me with the adjectives of the final sentences. Silence... and yet, I can see on your face a hint of that sweet and despondent tenderness. Say no more, I can see it clearly! With your downcast eyes, hold me near you, anchored. Don't you see how I'm stumbling, sad and wearied, with the weight of affection around my ankle? Make it quick. Why extend the anguish? Tell me you'll miss me and kiss me farewell. Do not look at me, turn away and vanish. Leave me entangled in the snare of your spell. Life will surely return to normal. Believe me! there's nothing that time can't tame, and my name on the page of your daily journal will dissolve on the tongue of the heart's ardent flame... Check out more of my poetry here: www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master [This message has been edited by Master (edited 08-14-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was very good, i enjoyed it alot. keep writing. Regina |
||
|
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
This one is awesome. Very good imagery. I was totally into it. Keep em' coming Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
||
|
LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
Iloved this, it was awesome, great job It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
||
|
Spice Senior Member
since 2001-04-13
Posts 1266Resting in my cardboard box. |
Oh! Awesome! I loved this! The last stanza was probably my fav... I liked how this kinda had the feeling of a story to it. I thought it was very well done. Glad to see another post from you!! You wouldn't worry about what people thought about you if you knew how seldom they did. |
||
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Alas... parting is such sweet sorrow...  This was an awesome piece, master. "Life will surely return to normal. Believe me! there's nothing that time can't tame, and my name on the page of your daily journal will dissolve on the tongue of the heart's ardent flame..." Those were by far my favorite lines. "dissolve on the toungue of the heart's ardent flame." Wow... those words are a VERY strong way to end a powerful piece. I loved the way you began also... usually, beginning with a question a weak start in my mind, but you did that very well. Nicely done. I really enjoyed this... these words and vaguely familiar with my own thoughts. You put them into words marvelously... nice work! --Marie If going to church makes you a Christian, then sitting in a garage makes you a car. |
||
|
TopGunLauren Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718California |
Your poem is really awsome I really loved it.Keep up the awsome work! Lauren |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Another poem well done and wonderful. I really enjoyed this poem a lot. Great job!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
