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Open Poetry #9
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Treasured Memories
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Treasured Memories |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
The old man ambled down the street With worn out shoes upon his feet. Nothing but the clothes on his back And a few treasured items in his sack. With dark sad eyes and a scruffy beard of gray, He slowly shuffled along his way. Not knowing where he has even been Nor certain of where this journey will end. As he stopped to rest and reflect on the past Of the love he once had that didn't last. Then all of the pain came flooding back Left with just the memories in his sack. Two years it's been since she's been gone As he desperately tries to hang on. Once more her memory plays in his head And his eyes mist over with tears unshed. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Eloise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Such a beautiful flow in this wonderful verse Eloise! Sweetly sad, and so lovingly touching. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This is good, Eloise - it sounds as if you've been to the School of Balladeer...and that's a compliment on both sides! Looking forward to reading much more from you! Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Kit, thank you for reading and your kind words.  Sunshine, I am honored by that compliment, but not sure that it is deserved. Thank you. |
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Eddie de Jong Junior Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 27 |
Eloise, Amazing how you suddenly let the emotions kick in at the last verse. Very enjoyable read. |
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Gossamerwings Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 207 |
Believe it, compliments well deserved! A very well-done read!  Gossamerwings |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Wonderful writing... compliment most deserved Eloise... regards, sudhir |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Eloise, wow wonderful written piece. "I am melancholy, flower cutting through stone" manic street preachers |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Eddie, thank you so much and welcome to Passions. Thank you Gossamer, appreciate you taking time to read. Sudhir, having read your work, I am honored. Thank you. Brian, thanks for the wow  [This message has been edited by Eloise (edited 08-01-2000).] |
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EWDrake Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 183NC, USA |
Eloise, Life teaches us that we never quite know what might befall us next, nor what will end up at the close of day packed in our sack. You summed that up so well, and so genuinely. Wonderful job! Evan With a long held breath given dark freedom, the single flame in sorrow's window flickers out. ~EWD~ |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Things can change so quickly, so we do need to learn to live one day at a time. Thanks for your comments Evan. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Eloise~ I think you've poignantly pointed out - 'There, but for the grace of God ... go I.' Wonderfully tender, my friend. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
very touching....and i agree with everything everyone else has said! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I have to agree with the rest...this is a wonderful touching and insightful work. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Eloise~ What images this tender, sad piece produced Love Tracie Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very nice, sad and emotional. You can easily see the old man, and see your own empty sack at the same time. Great! Catalinamoon |
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