~Blinded By Your Beauty~

How could I have missed it ... I was looking right at you and still I didn't see,
I never saw it coming ... never saw you walking right out from under me.

I know I never looked away ... and this aint about love making me blind ...
its about wanting somebody so much that you completely lose your mind.

God, it was just so amazing to be on the receiving end of you ...
I could have just stayed here forever taking in the beauty of your view.

There is still so much of you left here inside of me ...
every place you touched me left a mark ... made a memory.

For just a little while I thought I finally had contentment in sight ...
but now all my dreams are replaying in slow motion, black and white.

All I can taste are the things Im doing without ...
I guess I thought if I held you close enough ... it would quiet all the doubt.

I know we had no right in trying to hold on ...
some things aren't meant to be,
it's just that I got so used to you lying here next to me.

Now I'm alone, yet it's like your still here in this bed ...
how do I get you out of my heart, and out of my head.

And I'm not sure but I think a person can die from this kind of ache,
just how much can a heart bend before it finally breaks.

How do you get over someone who has gotten under your skin,
how do you let go when its something you've held so damn deep within.

Some days I wake up and it feels just like I been kicked in the chest,
yet there's no anger here ... under the circumstances we both did our best.

Even now ... I'm still sitting here completely in awe of you ...
and I know that from this point on ...
there will always be a little part of you in everything I do.

Janet Marie

***************

~Heart In Hand~

In the silence left behind, as you leave, apparently gone to stay ...
as I search for the reasons of why ...
all I can hear is the things you didn't say.

I cant be mad or hurt by the promises you never made ...
you never lied ... you never led ... what you did was just quietly fade.

You begged me not to love you ... and I tried ... but I still fell anyway ...
I promised you no expectations ... and Im sorry ...
that was much harder to keep -- than it was to say.

The things we had in common, were the things we were doing without,
and for just a little while we helped each other quiet all those doubts.

I guess the intensity made me blind ...
but I really thought you knew me by now,
If only you could have just trusted -- part of you-with-me, somehow.

Im so sorry I held you too close...
you wanted the pleasure but not the affection,
Im realizing now ...
my emotions are what sent you off in a different direction.

I never saw you leaving, never saw your hand on the door ...
Blinded by your beauty ... I missed all the signs ...
although I've been here so many times before.

I truly thought you understood my love would never chain you down ...
I tried so hard to make you see ... I would never let you drown.

I don't want us to be hurt by this, I cant stand to think your scared of me,
I need you to believe ... I promised I would let you go -- no guilt, no misery.

I take credit for the mistakes I made, I know Ive only myself to blame,
I knew going in I could get burned ...
But I was so damn drawn to your flame.

The only thing Im guilty of is giving too much of me away ...
I just wanted to please you... and to bring to you ...
the same sweet contentment you brought to my day.

Now it seems that too much of me ... is way too much for you ...
and this hurts so damn bad that you wont even talk to me ...
that I dont know what Im gonna do.

All I want this to end right for us both ... without any pain or regret ...
I am so much better for you touching me ...  so please ... never forget --

If you ever change your mind --
and a little more of me you think you could stand ...
you always know how to find me ... here where Ive always been ...
wishing on a star ... looking out at you ... heart in hand.


Janet Marie

*******************


It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and you lose it all ...
And it's unnerving
How one move just puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell ...
I'm not sayin
That there was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
And I'm not sayin
We ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let you get away from me.
~MB20~Leave


**reposts from open 7...for a friend who knows this pain...
quiet comfort my friend...
it does get better and it is a fact...
we are so much better for their touch...
worth every tear we cry...
take care gentle poet
jm