»
Archives
»
The Corner Pub
»
The Moment To Treasure
| The Corner Pub |
|
The Moment To Treasure |
|
|
jamesjiao Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268Backwaters of Avalon 
|
THE MOMENT TO TREASURE Don’t say a word, darling ‘Cause I understand Your pretty eyes are Lost beneath the weary skies. Please enjoy this moment We both longed for Though this can not last It’ll remain in my heart. Whether you remember The things you said You will hold onto my soul Lest it wonders astray. The gaze of your eyes Catches the last of crimson clouds Here in my dream I shall treasure all. Jõmes |
||
| © Copyright 2000 James Jiao - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is a lovely first post!! Welcome to Passions. I look forward to seeing more of your work! Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
||
|
childomine Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818st. petersburg, FL |
Welcome James. This is a lovely poem. Sweet sentiments expressed very well. ...Give me the strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is.... Black Eagle Oglala Sioux holy man |
||
|
Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This is most beautiful, welcome to Passions please check you mail for a special message. |
||
|
John the cat Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 357England |
Hear, Hear...welcome. May your roof never fall in and those beneath it never fall out. Irish proverb. |
||
|
Dennis L. White Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463Michigan, U.S.A. |
jamesjiao, Wonderful, romantic verse you've shared with us, Pull up a chair, have a brew and tell us more! Welcome to the Corner Pub. Great first post! Dennis :^) |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Welcome to Passions! This is a very beuatiful moment! Denise |
||
|
Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
James, Wonderful first post. Welcome to the pub. ~Gene |
||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Lovely poem! I look forward to reading more from you..  |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
What a beautiful first post. Welcome to the Pub. |
||
|
Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
This is wonderful... I like it a lot.. *smiles* Hope to see more of your work. MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU, MAY THE WIND BE ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK MAY THE SUN SHINE UPON YOUR FACE THE RAINS FALL SOFT UPON YOUR FIELDS AND, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, MAY GOD HOLD YOU IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND Irish Blessing |
||
|
Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Hi ^_^ yeah, this is a good poem.. probably the only thing is that u used 'wonders'.. instead of 'wanders'.. but, could be a typo.. And.. "the gaze of your eyes" .. umm.. eyes do not "own" the gaze.. it is something they do.. so perhaps this line warrants a little bit of experimenting. ^_^ I remember u said u wanted criticism, but this is all I can find to criticise in this poem.. it is well written. ^_^ Lynne |
||
|
jamesjiao Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268Backwaters of Avalon |
thanks Lynne, yes the wonder thing was a typo, but hmm, the gaze of you eyes, I probably need hone on my English skill a bit more. But yeah, thanks a lot for your criticism, I have a feeling that people in this site always give compliments rather than criticism, We need to be criticized eh? Jõmes |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
If it's criticism you'd like, may I suggest our Critical Analysis Forum ? |
||
|
Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Hey James.. yeah I know I have already replied to this poem of yours.. but as this is my favourite of those I have read, I'm just 'bumping' it up in the list..  I said earlier, about a phrase in the poem.. "The gaze of your eyes".. totally ignore it, hehe.. I like this just the way it is.. and if u change a thing, debo cortar tu cabeza! ^_^ joking.. -Lynne |
||
|
jamesjiao Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268Backwaters of Avalon |
Sorry, Lynne, but my head is safely in place, haha. Estás romántico extremadamante, Senorita!! - James The beauty of nature is displayed, not through itself, but through the creatures dwelling within its bosom. |
||
|
midnightblues Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 1597Singapore |
Welcome James! Wowee keep posting! This is simple...yet profound......*gags* loss of words cosh I'm still thinking bout ur poem *S* love, michelle If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues™ |
||
|
Lady Lost Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470 |
What a beautiful poem...I love reading poems like yours when I can actually relate to the feeling..I am going through something now that your poem describes well...< !signature--> You can never have too much fiction; reality can be such a bore [This message has been edited by Lady Lost (edited 07-19-2000).] |
||
|
dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
james, if you want to change wonders to wanders, go ahead--but i think its great! even the "gaze of your eyes.."  keep posting! dg "i speak in written word--my lips, no sound may utter..." dgvarner |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
FOUND IT!!!! jamesjiao, how happy am I to read this first post from you... a very good one... WOWs all around... so should I repeat, WELCOME TO PASSIONS regards, sudhir |
||
|
jamesjiao Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268Backwaters of Avalon |
Thank you.. Sudhir.. I love your poems too Lady lost.. and yours Midnightblue.. never read yours, but I am sure I will enjoy them!! DgVarner.. I love yours too.. - James The beauty of nature is displayed, not through itself, but through the creatures dwelling within its bosom. |
||
|
chibi_dragon Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 58 |
Awww...how romantic!! This is a perfect defenition of romance broken.--Chibi |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
