The Practice of Holding My Fire

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Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2020-07-31 09:20 AM

(The Practice of Holding My Fire)

My will
is not subservient
to the volume of your words.
You use yours to slap.
I use mine to cut
and I've had trauma's hands to hone the blade.
I don't mention this for sympathy.
It's a reminder
that I can stay calm
in the face of someone else's rage
My face regards your voice
watching the slow drowning
of your reasoning
and hearing the steps
of Her
collecting fuel as she rises
for fiendish handling
of the ego
that you throw down like a challenge.
Two
equally matched,
leaned over war tables.
Beasts plotting movements
dodging fire.
She is no longer subservient
to the volume
of your words
and the arsenal of defense
cultivated from each fight
could put you on your knees
while you choke
on dust stirred
by yourself.

"How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything"

Stone Sour

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

1 posted 2020-07-31 01:12 PM

Temptress...Remind me not to get you mad. you sound like a pit viper ready to strike.
Enjoyed...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

2 posted 2020-07-31 03:58 PM

Paul,

Thank you. I guess it isn't a very endearing way to behave, but I do know how to handle myself when the need is there. I've studied enough opponents and acquired a set of skills I never wanted. I have been referred to as being about as cuddly as a rattlesnake at times.

"How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything"

Stone Sour

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

3 posted 2020-08-01 04:02 AM

Gawds, Jenn... I am reminded why one must always hide their guitars in your presence here. Seriously, I wasn't sure if I read this right but took it as an internal conflict?

"My face regards your voice
watching the slow drowning
of your reasoning
and hearing the steps
of Her
collecting fuel as she rises"

Your expression is pure beauty. Tiptoeing away now.

Michael

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

4 posted 2020-08-01 08:20 AM

Michael,

Thank you. The internal conflict has to do with managing my reactions. The struggle to remain in control in order to simultaneously learn something and keep as much peace as possible is often difficult. If I choose to release my own raging response immediately it drains me and makes me say horrible things. I believe that intelligence levels go down when the brain is in that purely emotionally reactive state. The controlled response protects me and them for a longer amount of time.

The memory of the moment with the guitar will always make me chuckle and cringe at the same time. Back then I was not as controlled. Now I attempt to let the listener and the people watcher side of myself in to keep the balance between intelligence and anger. I'm not always successful, but trying is better than not.

"How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything"

Stone Sour

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

5 posted 2020-08-03 11:08 PM

Good thing I've got my flame-resistant suit on. . .

As they say, "Flame On!"

-- That which gives light must endure burning.
Viktor Frankl

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

6 posted 2020-08-03 11:22 PM

Sven,

I'm sure it has many layers. I hope it's enough. Thanks for reading.

"How much is real? So much to question
An epidemic of the mannequins
Contaminating everything"

Stone Sour

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

7 posted 2020-08-04 05:55 AM

Goodness!
The uglyness your words brought back to me!
Took me to years of verbal abuse. I admire your strength. Loved the ending! ~L

Starmcneil 1955
Member
Posts 174
Alberta, Canada

8 posted 2020-08-04 11:01 AM

I tend to hide from anger...it is in me but I am afraid to express it...a darkness starts to fill me and I reach for the light for darkness comes pain and memories I choose not to see...this is stunning and I felt like you were speaking on behalf of me and others...thank you

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