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Open Poetry #39
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Obscurity
Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 153
In A Melancholic Dream

0 posted 2006-10-09 04:30 AM



She turned to face the dawn,
The silent transition
Tears fell from her eyes,
Like the sky had died and existence had came to an end

Her pale fragility had been broken,
Tears that fell from her face poured as water,
And endless stream that could mask our existence

She is the snowfall that will blanket the earth
When the winter storm so discretely catches us in her grasp

Aurora, paint the skyline with your melancholia

She is my temptress, my allure,
But a withering rose in winter

She could destroy a god's creation,
Or adore the simplicity of me
It's the venture of life, but if I go
Would she follow?


A delicate subject for me to express, it's based on some feelings I have for a person but I'll never let her know it because I wouldn't compromise the relationship I have with her now to get involved.

© Copyright 2006 Brett Gailey - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2006-10-09 07:19 AM


this is just a touching piece

reminds me of a man who could have written it once about me



keep writing, I"m enjoying!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

2 posted 2006-10-09 05:28 PM


oh this is lovely Obscurity. I love writing that comes straight from the heart, as this does.  
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
3 posted 2006-10-09 09:39 PM




"She could destroy a god's creation,
Or adore the simplicity of me"

a delicate poem
for a delicate subject

I admire your graciousness
in not approaching the lady

DreamerSpirit
Member
since 2006-10-02
Posts 240
Buenos Aires, Argentina
4 posted 2006-10-09 11:16 PM


Excellent poem..i really liked it.
One of the best i've read for sure!
Congrats!


Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
5 posted 2006-10-12 02:48 AM


I can think of someone I wish had wrote this about me..make sense? Probably not, but this hit a spot in me that is rarely ever struck.

Thank you.

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