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Open Poetry #39
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MukkaKukka
Member
since 2006-09-18
Posts 88
Finland

0 posted 2006-09-23 04:56 PM


The moment all poets cease.

The Symbol

Crumbles.

© Copyright 2006 Petri Pokkinen - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2006-09-23 06:05 PM


nicely brewed thoughts
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
2 posted 2006-09-23 06:47 PM




your brevity
speaks well MukkaKukka
nicely done...

  

seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
3 posted 2006-09-24 08:34 AM


Well thought, well worded. A very nice work with some personal bite. I like this, I do.

Sandra

Brian James
Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147
Winnipeg
4 posted 2006-09-24 08:44 AM


We're not a totally unbiased bunch on this topic.  Speaking of your poem, I still think you can say even more with even less---for example, "poets cease" is a little imprecise since "cease" needs to refer to some kind of action (maybe "poetry ceases" would be a better compliment to "symbol crumbles").  I also think something more concrete than "symbol" would have made the very concrete notion of "crumbling" more felt---maybe find a good symbol for "Symbol" and use that instead.  Even metapoetry's gotta be poetry, after all.

Now relax and enjoy a few pats on the back.

Brian

"To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form."
~Robert Frost

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
5 posted 2006-09-24 12:01 PM


A lot of debate could occur over the wording,
but I found it very clear in the meaning.

And the message is strongly voiced within
so few words.  Welcome to Passions.

MukkaKukka
Member
since 2006-09-18
Posts 88
Finland
6 posted 2006-09-24 05:46 PM


I have to reply.

All the poems that Ive written on this  forum have been written just like that , I sit in front of the keyboard

and there.

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