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Open Poetry #38
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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2006-05-29 03:51 PM



We kissed
twice

within
a bimonthly
frame

twice
your eyes
hammered blue
upon my
knees

but air
would never
stir again,

the trees
mimicked
coathangers

playing dead
in the
aborted season,

circumstance
and happenstance
suffocated
budding branches
and renewing
glances,
  
and you sting
me now,
with statements
of
"never meant to be"

rambling off
a theosaursus
of etc.'s;

so i catch
your limp bouquet,

echoing back
at your own
thrown up hands

of our moment
never claimed;

a field of
dandelions
lay trampled
on april wings,

coughing feathers
in the breeze,

praying
in its
hospice, green
to be taken
by the rain.


[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (05-30-2006 09:19 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved
Bodger
Senior Member
since 2005-06-12
Posts 1260
Tolerance for a short time
1 posted 2006-05-29 04:12 PM


You wrote on weakness

But everyone know's weakness

But the one thing I feel you wrote

Was another identity

I accept the 3 limit, I dont produce someother identity

Your words I seem to see too often

in various guises

You writing makes me think of several people and a Lady 'who works as the Sun' mentioned the habit

Daved

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
2 posted 2006-05-29 04:21 PM


o my
what can i say?
thank you i think

shirtless
Member
since 2006-04-29
Posts 359

3 posted 2006-05-29 04:23 PM


The dandelions "coughing feathers / in the breeze" is such an original look at a common event; then add the symbolic value of the trampled dandelions in contrast to the airborne seeds of the dandelion, and you get WOW. It's a great poem that leads the reader yet leaves room for interpretation. I am really impressed with this.
     I also have to comment on the "trees mimicked coathangers" and "the season aborted." The separation of "coathangers" and "aborted" by placing them in different stanzas makes the idea even more shocking when the reader unites them. This poem is loaded with powerful images.

http://anthonyarmstrong.zoomshare.com

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2006-05-29 04:23 PM


My goodness, Goddess, you certainly know how to work that pen of yours!

Creatively expressive emoting! ~ and a

btw It was HIS loss!!!



Linda
Flowers

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2006-05-29 06:48 PM


I so enjoyed this poem but I seem to have gotten thrown off my thoughts of what I was going to say when I reached the reply section

I do love your poetry!

bklynboy
Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660
florida
6 posted 2006-05-31 08:41 PM


Yawn!
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
7 posted 2006-06-01 09:37 PM



Wow, powerful sentiment with equally impressive and unique imagery....I relate and am keeping this - you obviously say it much better than I ever could

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2006-06-02 12:17 PM


Even nature is upset!  Great imagery, Michele.......and....ouch.  *hugs*....jo
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
9 posted 2006-06-02 02:08 PM


Michelle I had to save this one, and think it is  my favorite of all you have written, that I personally have read.  I refer to imagery like this usually as "Martieisms" but today taking your poetry to this level certainly made yours "Michelleisms" to keep! Beautiful imagery!
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
10 posted 2006-06-03 10:29 AM


thanks for stopping by and diggin the dandelions w/me
coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

11 posted 2006-06-03 08:04 PM


This flipping....
rocks!

Ya know what I really mean, lol.

Billy 8)

"Only the dead, have seen the end of war."
Plato

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