navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #37 » Words
Open Poetry #37
Post A Reply Post New Topic Words Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
BlueTattoo
New Member
since 2006-02-12
Posts 1


0 posted 2006-02-12 01:24 AM



Intent on a clutter of college ruled,
absorbed in ink and smudges of thought,
I never noticed her in the doorway,
hopeful in a hopeless red dress-

write this down, she said;

write this down so you'll listen,
so you'll hear what I got to say
the same way I hear you when you put in words
the flat of this dismal sky;
it makes me feel damp on my skin,
taste lonely at the back of my throat

and I know you think I don't know much
about words, or just how them words
make you happy when nothing else can,
but I understand well enough, I get it
when I read "nothing grows here but water"

so write this down, and listen:

I want to live out loud;
I want to be more than what I am,
I want to sit in one of them outside cafe's
sipping mint juleps like ladies do in Atlanta;
I want to wear my hair up in curls, silk on my back,
smell anything besides magnolia and tobacco and dirt-

I need to tell my daddy
that the best look at God is from hell,
not a pulpit and I need to let my momma see
what she closed her eyes to at night;
I need to learn how to cry and remember
that tears is just so much salty water.
I have to chip out what's been covered in stone.

I want to read on them pages someday
that maybe I was special; that you noticed
how I held you, your sap still on my hands,
while you twisted uneasy in sleep.
Let me see it put down that you thought I was pretty,
hair the color of honey off the comb, skin like butter.
Paint me in a poem that will find its way out of here-

She caught her breath with a hitch,
a sound so small that I bent to catch it.
Her fingers fluttered, familiar against her neck;
she turned, walked away without another word-
her gardenia talc lingered long after she'd gone.


© Copyright 2006 BlueTattoo - All Rights Reserved
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
1 posted 2006-02-12 07:12 AM


Welcome to Passions BlueTattoo

This is an excellent first post, I just love the imagery that you conveyed. A very enjoyable read.

Andrew

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2006-02-12 10:17 AM



Dear Blue Tattoo -

You've got a new fan.

You caught me from the first,
and kept me throughout.

Please, check your email
for a very special greeting!

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2006-02-12 10:39 AM


something in blue
always draws my attention
and ink too, enjoyed it
welcome to the den of piptown

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2006-02-12 11:26 AM


WOW!!  WELCOME TO PASSIONS!
This is a wonderful entrance piece!
I shall be looking forward to more of your words.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

In the midst of winter,
I found there lives within me..
An invincible summer.

Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643

5 posted 2006-02-12 12:19 PM


Excellent write.... Welcome I look forward to reading more.
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
6 posted 2006-02-13 12:52 PM


Paint me in a poem that will find its way out of here-

What a powerful, poignant plea... With a poetic debut like this, I'll definitely be looking for more of your work! *S* Welcome to Passions!

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
7 posted 2006-02-13 11:10 PM




"Let me see it put down that you thought I was pretty,
hair the color of honey off the comb, skin like butter.
Paint me in a poem that will find its way out of here-"

Oh! I love your voice! Wonderful poem. Welcome.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2006-02-14 02:06 AM


oh, I shall enjoy reading more from your pen!
Welcome, and thank you for such an amazingly fine first fare!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2006-02-14 02:13 AM


Interesting...James
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #37 » Words

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary