Train tracks in the snow (Karen's wanderlust challenge)

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Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

0 posted 2006-01-08 11:23 PM

“It’s the leavin’ that I need”
he said to no one,
“knowin’ she’ll ache and hate me for awhile...”

and I thought of the woman who’d
painted me train tracks
in the snow,
when all I’d needed was to be alone
with an opiate and no reason
to think at all.

Tonight I’d be settling
for the hooch offered
from a cracked and dirty hand
and a bed of blessed cold,
rhythmic steel on rolling steel.

I pulled my hands up into the sleeves
of a coat that I was suddenly grateful
was two-sizes too big
and stared out into the blackness of a cold,
starless night, further north
than I ever cared to be again.

Figured I’d make the Mason-Dixon line
sometime Tuesday,
then decide where to go from there.

An ancient transistor radio
crackled from the darkness
of the furthest corner of the car,
as a distinctly genteel,
and wholly out of place woman’s voice spoke quietly,
“They call it the New Orleans Disaster Tour...”

I sat down then, against the soothing motion
of steel on rolling steel
and listened as the softness of her voice
cracked around words it seemed
to wound her to speak,

until I fell into exhausted sleep
near the edge of Black’s Woods,
the blessed stillness of the night
broken only by an
occasional whistle
over train tracks in the snow.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2006-01-08 11:27 PM

yipppeeee!
look at this!
off the porch, onto the tracks
love your take on this
enjoyed those sleeves

~sigh~ good to see you here

PS, am now singing Arlo....

jody5
Senior Member

since 2005-12-21

Posts 876
California, U.S.A.

2 posted 2006-01-08 11:42 PM

I love a poem that tells a story and yours seems to say good-bye. It is really well done. I enjoyed it even though theres a hint of sadness in it.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2006-01-09 12:13 PM

"c'mere Fred"

(hugging you)

I knew you knew how to do this, and I am so, so honored that you did....

*fk*

I love you Duncan.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2006-01-09 03:55 AM

Hey Duncan!!! It is so good to see you off
the front porch and into my mailbox!!!

Hugs, porch puppy,

Ethel

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

5 posted 2006-01-09 04:25 AM

WOW, Duncan! Wordless.

....jo

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2006-01-09 06:27 AM

Well, when you come home,
you certainly leave your mark.

We've missed you, Pup.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

7 posted 2006-01-09 07:29 AM

Figured I’d make the Mason-Dixon line
sometime Tuesday,

well that is exactly where I am...on that line...and in between

nice to read you again,
M

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

8 posted 2006-01-09 08:50 AM

'Bout time you came home puppy!!
A most excellent write Dunc.
and I'm sure Karen smiled when she saw this.
Hugs~Nancy

In the midst of winter,
I found there lives within me..
An invincible summer.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

9 posted 2006-01-09 09:14 AM

This is perfect Duncan . . .

I wanted to do this too, have one picked out.

You penned this beautifully.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

10 posted 2006-01-09 09:22 AM

“It’s the leavin’ that I need”

I can't even begin to tell you how much I loved the deep, layered meaning in that one sentence.

I love you madly.

and that other thing you wrote? Post that too.....

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

11 posted 2006-01-09 09:29 AM

This fine piece of writing is a very effective way of reminding your fans why they have been missing your poetry!

Warm, welcome-back hugs,
Linda

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

12 posted 2006-01-09 09:31 AM

Oh, goodness....chills reading this wonderful piece of work!
So good to read you again Duncan.
May I keep this? Thankyou.

hugs, Chris

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
~Carl Sandburg

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

13 posted 2006-01-09 04:57 PM

WOW!

Love it all.

M xx

how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more
~Neruda~

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

14 posted 2006-01-09 05:01 PM

very nice..... good to see you are still writing..and if anything and if posible... have gotten better...

*chuckling*
getting off the porch however... still seems to be a challenge for you...

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

15 posted 2006-01-09 05:10 PM

well well well ...is that the porch puppy wagging his tail and saying hello....sooooooo good to see you here and posted....and this? is an amazing poem, especially the Mason Dixon line sweeps me right home to GA and listening to the trains....hugssss you...luv you...

I don’t mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

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