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Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2005-03-10 10:55 PM

Awake:

                                            Bolt Awake:
             Silence
                                                Stark As
Rivets     In The
                                    Plate Steel Dark:
What?
                What
                              Was                That?
Can’t
                   Reconstruct:
Not          Even                        The Echo
                     But I Know:
                                              Presence
                   Unnatural In
This                                           Space:
               What?
                                                  What?
Dare           The
                         Silence:

[This message has been edited by Ratleader (03-11-2005 09:27 AM).]

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

1 posted 2005-03-10 11:02 PM

Oh, Ratleader! Another puzzle! I love your mind!
sadie

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

2 posted 2005-03-10 11:04 PM

Thank you, Happylite!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

ecrivan
Member Elite

since 2001-12-10

Posts 3923
my own state

3 posted 2005-03-10 11:28 PM

If echos bounce off obstacles what better imagery than a construct of this sort.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

4 posted 2005-03-10 11:31 PM

Ed

Scary...this poem...feels like the shudder right before an earthquake. I hope you are ok.

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

5 posted 2005-03-10 11:35 PM

I suspect that I may be fine....I wrote this on a napkin while waiting for the steak and shrimp special at Norm's......

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Copperbell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-08

Posts 956

6 posted 2005-03-10 11:38 PM

I wonder how many poems and songs have been written on napkins...

This was neat

I really enjoyed it.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

7 posted 2005-03-10 11:41 PM

I think I may need glasses ~ or I have eyestrain! But then again, probably not. I think you were just being your creative self!

Linda

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

8 posted 2005-03-11 09:29 AM

You capture well that bug-eyed search of sounds and shadows... both needing and dreading to find the source of the bolt. *S*

I could easily believe this was written in midst of one of those searches... that it was written surrounded by companions, light and anticipation of a good meal makes it all the more striking! *S*

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart