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BoyToy
Junior Member

since 1999-09-12

Posts 23
everett, wa, usa

0 posted 1999-11-27 12:57 PM

Death becomes me,
wrapped in my cold lonely cage.
Never will it escape me,
Soon I will unleash rage.

This dark, desolete existence,
where dreams are real.
It always warns me, teases me
that this is a hell I will feel.

The night is young,
soon I strike,
fresh victims rescued from life,
only to impaled on my pike.

The End

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A dark, black past is my most valued possession...D. Mustaine

danni
Senior Member

since 1999-11-20

Posts 688
wisconsin

1 posted 1999-11-28 01:32 AM

Dark but intruiging. I liked it.

starboards
Member

since 1999-10-14

Posts 467
longwood, florida

2 posted 1999-11-28 09:07 PM

What are you trying to keep inside?? your words speak great volumes! keep up the good work!!! Welcome to Passions!!!

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"If you love something let it go...if it comes back to you it is yours...if it doesnt then it never was"

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 727
Wisconsin

3 posted 1999-11-28 09:08 PM

Nice job here... short, but to the point... and the point well depicted!

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Life is what you make of it... Not what you let it be

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

4 posted 1999-11-29 04:34 AM

Grabbed me with the first line line, stuck me with the ending. very well done.

Michael

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

5 posted 1999-11-30 12:54 PM

Dark and brooding...excellent

Jenny Lee

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Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual.

Jaguar
Member

since 1999-11-27

Posts 51
Quezon City, Philippines

6 posted 1999-12-02 04:33 AM

"The End" is very similar to my poem, Midnight Grave, it's dark, mysterious and intriguing, love it!

Deverone
Member

since 1999-10-13

Posts 136
San Antonio, Tx, USA

7 posted 1999-12-02 09:29 AM

VERY Good poem......let thise feelings out a little more and try to let them help you if they can......looking forward to seeing more from you.

Welcome to "DARK".

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Deverone

"We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out".

----Ray Bradbury---

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