Boys magazines/ Don't look at me

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silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-10-11 02:12 AM

*first time post in teen poetry. i usually post in dark, but i kinda wanna try this one out. See how you like it...

don't look at me
your eyes eat away like acid
on my skin
caressing my innocence with
such dirty intentions

get off me
your touch makes my skin
prickle and shiver
as your hands
travel the length of my body

close your mouth
words spit out like fire
spitting in the cold night
as your tongue
lingers too long

don't hold me
i can't stand
the warmth of your body
so close, so intimate
so easy for you to coax me in

get away
you don't need me
like the blood in your veins
im not worth that much
and you don't deserve blood anyway

don't try to find me
i'm too lost to be saved
and your eyes eat away at me
like i'm just another one of your magazines

put your frustrations into four letter words - incubus

[This message has been edited by silhouetted (10-11-2004 04:00 AM).]

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

1 posted 2004-10-11 12:38 PM

I liked this. Especially the line,"caressing my innocence with
such dirty intentions"
very descriptive, I liked the end too.
Thanks for sharing.

WinterWren-
Counting stars wishing I was ok,
Crashing down was my biggest mistake.

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

2 posted 2004-10-11 04:16 PM

i really like this. i would have never thought it would end the way it did although i thought it was awesome. hope you keep on writing

--kelly

i could be an accident, but i'm still trying.

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

3 posted 2004-10-12 04:12 AM

i liked it. it was good, it worked well. it wasn't my favourite, but i still really liked it.

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't me they're NOT out to get you.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

4 posted 2004-10-14 12:24 PM

i really liked this, especially 'don't try to find me, i'm too lost to be saved' dramatic, but really true and relateable to probably a lot of people..at least for me. thanks for sharing, going in my library =)

bergundy

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

5 posted 2004-10-15 12:22 PM

"don't look at me
your eyes eat away like acid
on my skin
caressing my innocence with
such dirty intentions"

Liked this part alot. Glad that you posted in Teen because I like your writng alot.

This is going into my library.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

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