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Strider612
Junior Member

since 2003-12-21

Posts 46
Alabama, United States of America

0 posted 2004-06-24 04:27 PM

Your dazzling smile distracts me
From the world that’s all around.
Your happy laugh can drive me wild
Since there’s no better sound.
You tease me with those clear blue eyes
That hold me in your sway.
How much longer must we wait?
I want to get away.

Around you I am always hoping
That we’ll find a way out soon
We’ll spend a night out having fun
And singing underneath the moon.
Yeah, the days can last forever
And our good times never end.
I love the world when you’re here with me,
Glad to know you are my friend.
We’ll make our jailbreak soon, my darling,
And we’ll get some satisfaction.
But until we find that tunnel
You’ll just be my sweet distraction.

Please don’t stay here with me,
Since you know you’ll steal my mind.
It’s hard enough to wait until
We get space to unwind.
You taunt me with your precious charm
That’s more than I can stand.
But I know tonight will be
Much better than I planned.

Around you I am always hoping
We can find a way to leave.
Somehow my heart melts away
In front of all the dreams you weave.
I wish the nights could last forever,
That time for us would just stand still.
We can see the world together,
Seeking out the next big thrill.
We’ll leave this place behind us, darling,
With nothing but our shared attraction.
But until we find that highway,
You can be my sweet distraction.

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

1 posted 2004-06-24 06:26 PM

I LOVED this poem! IT was awesome and the rhyming didn't seem at all forced! Awesome job and I'm gonna keep this one if you don't mind?

Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't.

blackandwhitehorizon
Member

since 2003-05-05

Posts 183
an akward state of mind

2 posted 2004-06-24 08:57 PM

Aww I loved this one too! Great Job... really charming

blackandwhitehorizon
Member

since 2003-05-05

Posts 183
an akward state of mind

3 posted 2004-06-24 08:57 PM

Aww I loved this one too! Great Job... really charming

blackandwhitehorizon
Member

since 2003-05-05

Posts 183
an akward state of mind

4 posted 2004-06-24 08:58 PM

(oops sorry ^ accidentally posted it twice)

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

5 posted 2004-06-25 03:32 AM

hey,
i liked this, it was pretty long...which maybe i think i just have like poetry ADD. for some reason i can't read long poems or write them. guess that says something bout my maturity level..anywho, this poem was pretty cool. i liked a lot of the images, and it conveyed happiness pretty well. i think some of it was cliche though, like 'we'll run away together' or something of the such. (just trying to find something to criticize, haha)
keep writing though, stay groovy
bergundy

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

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