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Teen Poetry #7
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drummerboy678
Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 134


0 posted 2004-03-16 03:56 PM


Flashes of TV blue
reveal heavy eyes
shadowed by the day.
The remote and the darkness
are his only companions,
when the neighborhood sleeps.

Rhythmic, flickering clicks
between late-night infomercials
and porn, as glassed eyes stare
past the glow.

Silence screams, static blares
while muffled conversations of late-night
trash echo in this lonely room.

His eyes water, begging for closure
in a struggle between day and night,
as the half closed, oval stare of ceiling
fades to black,
shadowing insomnia’s world,
until tomorrow.

© Copyright 2004 drummerboy678 - All Rights Reserved
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
1 posted 2004-03-16 05:17 PM


Holy crap........I loved this...if this is about yourself, I'm sorry that you, too, must suffer from insomnia...If it's not about you, then it's still a GREAT poem. Well done!

"And my heart still pumps twice as fast whenever you walk by. Cause I still love you."~ Blindside

Melodious_silence
Junior Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 37

2 posted 2004-03-16 10:05 PM


i have to agree thi was a great poem,  simple things through out the day have never seemed so interesting.  Ciao!
young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
3 posted 2004-03-16 10:36 PM


i agree with all. this is tight stuff. i like it alot. keep up this stuff!
kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
4 posted 2004-03-16 11:34 PM


insomnia. it sucks.. a lot. Sometimes atleast. ~lol~ Very awesome poem.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

drummerboy678
Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 134

5 posted 2004-03-17 09:48 PM


Thanks for the responses guys.  I wouldn't say I "suffer" from insomnia... I actually rather enjoy it, and stay up because I want to.  I find sleep to be a waste of time.

This poem was just about someone with insomnia, and struggling with the hardships of being by yourself every night.

Thanks for the responses though... many more are welcome!

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
6 posted 2004-03-18 06:10 PM


great formation of character. it was a look inside this person real thoughts a feelings, not just random emotion spewing.
There is a strange feeling that comes with being awake while others sleep.
A sort of power as well...
Or maybe that's just me.
Anyhow...this is awesome man.
~Lex

River
Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627
my own little world
7 posted 2004-03-19 04:06 PM


owch...i've been there many times. Good poem, rock on.

     - River

sleep my precious slumber

a123
Member
since 2004-03-27
Posts 72

8 posted 2004-03-28 11:17 AM


great poem,love the way you end it..until tomorrow.looking forward to reading more by you
Deep_Inside
Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377
i can't stop hiding
9 posted 2004-03-28 05:13 PM


i really like this poem. i wrote something like this once but i didn't have the impact to the reader as this piece does.  i'm not a real insomniac(no one really is) but try to talk to your doctor about this stuff called ambian it's the best sleep aid i have tried and with all those late night infomercials how can you forget, because blue balls and puppies make me think of sleep(personal humor i don't let it out much)but if i've been wrong about all this i just have to say that is poem is grate the way it grabs the reader is awsome.... keep writing and just remember sleep is over rated

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

drummerboy678
Member
since 2003-10-28
Posts 134

10 posted 2004-03-29 08:23 PM


Thanks Deep...
Sleep is definetly overrated.  I dont sleep, not because I cant, but because its a waste of time.  People need a lot less than they think they do.

The night is my favorite time.  Almost all my poems are written after 2am.


Thanks for the nice comments though.
They're appreciated.

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
11 posted 2004-04-06 09:21 AM


Nice.  

Isn't insomnia fun?  Lucky me, my boyfriend shares my liking for the night, so we just talk and talk and talk...

Seriously, though, I like this.  Nice job.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
12 posted 2004-04-12 07:34 PM


I feel like this all the time, but deep_inside is absolutley right - sleep is over rated!!!
Really nice job!

~Alli~

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