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The Inner Demon
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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The Inner Demon |
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Desmock New Member
since 2005-07-14
Posts 5 |
My world goes black and I float adrift in a void, free of all living expectations and dreams. In fact no dream comes to me in this period of darkness, where I seem to drift carefree. I fear I've died, and neither God nor Satan wanted me, and so here I am in this blackness. But I know if that were true, if it truly were... then I would have no fear at all, I would just be. I see a light, but there is no tunnel... it grows brighter, and I awake in a befuddled state of mind. Looking around I see faces that I have never seen before, and people screaming at me. Their words sound so sureal, and I slowly drift off back into that endless sleep, devoid of all dreams. But there is someone here with me... no, there is more then just one, it seems to be a few of them. They wont show themselves to me though, and I can't figure out why that is that they avoid me. This is my world isn't it? It is my void, my space of reality... and yet they elude me somehow. Show yourselves! Why do you mock me so?! Wait... the light returns, I'm somewhere new again. I'm now surrounded by people I know and love, people who have always been there my entire life. They cry, a man in white looks at me sadly, and again I am confused as to why this is happening. When did I suddenly drift in and out of reality like this, and why does it happen so frequently? My world goes black again, and this time I hear them... all around me, saying different things. One laughs at me, another fears me, and yet another seems to loathe and detest me. I'm suddenly afraid again, because they all seem so familiar... like I've met them before. And suddenly, it seems to hit me like a bag of bricks, or more correctly a semi truck hauling bricks. I know who they are... they are me, but I can't believe that this is possible, how could it be? Yet deep down I know it's true, as I see each one of them in my listless world of my mind. They are my inner demons, I know this... I fear this... and suddenly I'm growing aware of what happened. My inner demons are free... they wouldn't have been so familiar... had they not been set free. Why are they free? Did I feel so lost that I needed to let them loose? I began to shake and tremble. I awake again, only to find myself restrained, bound by a jacket with straps... it's so very white... I lash out, I scream and spit and drool upon myself in a berserk frenzy, why the hell is this thing on me? This is for crazy people, and surely I am not one of THOSE people, I could never be one of them. But then I hear them again, my inner demons, they taunt me... and I know they were the ones who put me here. I can never make out what they say... but I know, deep down, that I'll never be rid of them again. They love their freedom... and I am now their vessel, their tool for speaking and interacting with the world. I realize now that I am crazy... that I am insane... because I wasn't normal enough to hide my demons. I let them loose, and now here they are, me but not me, free but wanting more freedom from me. I'm sure they all want their own bodies... but only mine is up for the bidding, and I feel used. I'm crazy... I'm crazy... I'm crazy... this goes over and over in my head as I stare at the white ceiling. I cry, because that seems like the only thing I can do now... I pray to God, I pray to Satan... I pray. Free me from my demons! I don't belong here! I don't deserve this! I'm a good person, I really am! But inside I smile... I laugh with giddy glee... I let them loose finally... you're free... my inner demons. |
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