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Dark Poetry #4
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Endless Purgatory
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Endless Purgatory |
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Desmock New Member
since 2005-07-14
Posts 5 |
My life feels the same, it looks the same and every day the same people say the same things to me. My feelings have gone numb from the humdrum of these every day things, and nothing seems like it can save me. I can't see past the horizon, I can't look further then the sky, nothing is endless or limitless for me. These restrictions, limitations, and hinderances are what make my life listless... I want to escape. But no one can hear me, no one ever sees me or wants to believe in me or what I might be able to do. I'm nothing more then a shadow, the invisible man that no one has heard about, and that seems alright. What is there for someone like me to do? Someone who has never known the true loves and joys of life. It all seems the same... all the time, never ending... the sky is a grey haze of fog that clouds everything. If someone were to ask me, what I could expect for tomorrow... I could only answer "Nothing at all". Time has fallen still for me and only me, yet I still grow old and everything around me ages as if time existed. Fair or not, time has taken me as an enemy, and fate is its partner in crime... they laugh maniacally at me. What did I do, to deserve this punishment from the forces of the gods themselves? I can do nothing more then laugh at myself, because it seems to be the best thing to do right now. Everyone else seems to have followed the trend, because to them I'm nothing more then a figment. And even if I exist solely as someone's made up dreams... of things that could have been. Those dreams will not die with me, because I refuse to die, as boring and mellow as my life seems. I cut my finger, and even though it bleeds I feel... as though I were releasing something far more then blood. I'll fall and break a bone, and while the pain might be harsh and unbearable... it will feel alright. These things let me know I'm alive... that I don't just exist as someone's imagination, someone's dream. I don't have to scream out to acknowledge that I'm living and breathing... I simply know I am. Whilest I wait for time to move again, I begin to laugh at others, because time has made more enemies. I am no longer alone, I no longer have to feel exiled and mocked by other people, because they are now the same. They will now get to feel what I've felt all these days, weeks, months, and years... the same listless feeling. Time and fate will make everyone feel what I've felt my whole life... the feeling... of Endless Purgatory. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Desmock - All Rights Reserved | |||
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I hate it and like it. I detest it, because it feels like I'm there too over saying the "L" word to someone. I hate it. But I also like it because I can see your soul in it. Its so beautiful, because its human. Its a real person, but I can't say its entirely human because there are things you seem to have missed while you were writting. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Nice write. -GIS Thr enemies name is Satan a.k.a. "The Stoopid Angel" |
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Savage Quiescence Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326Wandering |
I like the fact that your writings always offer something different. They're not the typical material we see at PiP. This one wasn't as impressive as the other one, but I agree with GIS. There is something very raw and very human about this piece. Just remember that "then" is sequencial (did I spell that right?), and "than" is for comparisons. I saw more than one place where you used "then" when "than" was appropriate. Also, "alright" isn't a word. It should be "all right." Hope to read more from you soon. Alicia |
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Desmock New Member
since 2005-07-14
Posts 5 |
Yeah, normally I don't spell check or grammer check in some cases, when I probably should. More of a bad habit spelling those things the way I do. I appreciate the commentary, I didn't actually think I'd recieve constructive critisism... or even any positive reinforcement at all, for that matter. I feel kind of bad just coming here and posting my poems and not reviewing anyone elses'... but I'm not very good at critising other people's work. I'm kind of a one sided poet. But I do appreciate people looking at mine, no doubt about that. |
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