»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #4
»
living waiting dying
| Dark Poetry #4 |
|
living waiting dying |
|
|
darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
living i set myself goals make it to sunday then make it to staurday then to christmas waiting i need motivation once the days finished you'll be alone i tell myself dying i hide i crawl into the corner you banish me there i want to scream in your face living i try so hard to make it through a week of being around you i hate you waiting you used to be mine now you belong to anyone but me its killing me dying nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
||
| © Copyright 2004 Sophie A Ryan - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
I sat here for a full ten minutes, thinking of a reply. I still can't write one. I hope you make it till the end, girl, it wouldn't be right without you. "You should have told me. Seemed like an ordinary day. Everything seemed to be ok. Did it hurt you? Here are the scars you never show. She is a firesign you know. One day a year, and then you go." That song makes me cry. I love you, don't forget that. Sigh. Great poem. Courtney. I'm trying to fill up the hollow emptiness. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
||
|
vampiana Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 296Nothing and Nowhere |
man soph...your poems cut right into people's hearts. they are so filled with the ready emotional pain you are feeling. its so sad...its like everyone is living in all this pain, and no one even notices. its just a dying world of unnoticed pain. awesome poem, loved it. Lots of love, Kirsten aka Kirsty aka Kursed aka Kurst "I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so"-Marilyn Manson |
||
|
JoshG Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 127TX, USA |
Great read, I really like the structure of your poem. It keeps it simple when you are describing complicated emotions. Thanks for sharing. If you want some feedback, I think the only issue you had was a mispelling "saturday". Great Job! I hope that what ever is spearing you will pass in quick time. |
||
|
News_From_Nowhere Member
since 2002-06-14
Posts 173CU, NY |
"And now I find the future's gone; The reasons that I had to carry on, Are gone. I cried for it all, You never heard me call At all." (Lord Graham Russell) Why is misery so excessive? This was a depressing poem, but very unique & very refreshing in its form. Makes me like it, makes me hate it, Makes me like it... "So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm" |
||
|
EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
i hate being banished there. the only thing i'd add for myself is somewhere between waiting and dying would be choking, gasping, praying, sinking, damning, begging, hoping, crying, denying and then. too goood, darkness_witch. i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. |
||
|
darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
hey everbod thanks for all your comments... i know it isnt my best but i had to vent all of my feelings. hehe i know bot the spelling of saturday i posted it then read through it n went ahhh stupid sophie!!! thanks again.. its good to know people can relate love and empathy always sophie nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
