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Dark Poetry #4
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Mad_Hatter
Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393
Canada

0 posted 2004-09-23 09:43 PM


The theatre of cracking eyes
Cut my finger on the blades of seething
Sleeping to the moans  
Of the swarming dead
They will hold you to your word

Awake the drowned
Given faces to perform
And abide the burning masses

You witness to dissention
In the way we brag our tolls
Untwisting all the bodies
From these mangled walls
“And he will see us through, tonight”
This is the night that we decide
The moment we all gather
To deface the child…

The theatre of cracking eyes
Cut my finger on the blades of leaves
Indulging in these window frames
A display of the swarming dead
Accountable for fleshless homes

Awake the burned
Given faces to perform
And abide the drowning masses

They sing through broken stomachs
Of the things they’d hope to dream
Each word another nightmare
Keeping rotting hands at bay
A wish to feel the water
Clawing at their feet…

“And he will see us through tonight.
Hold our hands before the bite
And he will walk us to the stars…”
I never said I’d play the game
But in the end, we’re all to maim

© Copyright 2004 Ryan - All Rights Reserved
green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
1 posted 2004-09-24 01:43 AM


A gothic resonating sound in my ears.  Nice.  I especially like this stanza or verse:

They sing through broken stomachs
Of the things they’d hope to dream
Each word another nightmare
Keeping rotting hands at bay
A wish to feel the water
Clawing at their feet…

and the part about the rotting hands is the line I liked best.  Thats ingeniuos.  The hands are falling apart and on top of that they can't reach anyway.  Thats awesome.  Just a matter of time and their won't be anything left to reach with.  And you or whoever won't have to worry anyway.  Loved it.

GIS

add*

He has made everything beautiful in its own time.  -Ecclesiastes 3:11

darkness_witch
Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516
Underneath
2 posted 2004-09-24 02:01 AM


love it

amazing talent coming through on this one

love the "almost" repitition used.

stunning

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

Mad_Hatter
Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393
Canada
3 posted 2004-09-26 04:04 PM


Thank you for your responces.  this is by far one of my darkest pieces.  I hope you enjoy.
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