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kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

0 posted 2004-02-26 07:09 PM

WHy are you constantly torturing me?
constantly patronizing me?
Never letting me let you go.
Never leaving me be.

Always there.
When i sleep.
When i eat.
Every moment of the day.
Every Moment of the night,
never letting me out of your sight.

You creep into my heart,
my mind,
my soul,
and you torture them.
You slowly corrupt them,
with your pain.
My body in not your temple,
it is not yours to slain.
Only it is.

You haunt my dreams...
my thoughts.
Bringing me down...
down, down, down,
into your twisted world
of hate and sorrow.
Your world is my neverending tomorrow.

You are the monster under the bed.
My monster.

!!! I am not finished with this. There is just
something missing that i havent found yet.
Any Comments would be kool. !!!

~Vampire Kisses

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

darkstar
Member

since 2000-08-09

Posts 230
Port Richey, Fl, USA

1 posted 2004-02-26 07:43 PM

hmmm...I like it so far. I don't know what you should add though.

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

2 posted 2004-02-26 07:55 PM

i love your poems because they tell such a twisted story that makes you want to read more

you have a very very interesting writing technique and it makes amazing work!

liked it a lot

LOR

In the bible on angels have wings, and the rest must wait to be saved - Jewel

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

3 posted 2004-02-27 04:14 PM

Thanks ya guys!! I appreciate ur comments. I liked this one a lot too. There is just something... missing. I dont know what, but i'll figure it out!! ~lol~ Love ur latest poem silhouetted. And darkstar, i read urs earlier, very nice work!!!

~Vampire Kisses

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

SwEeTnSeXy18
Member

since 2000-09-18

Posts 247
nc

4 posted 2004-07-02 01:29 AM

Vampire kisses huh! So this is a inner monster? Hope you can tame it, I liked it and also dont know what may be needed to add.

Lisa

~in order to gain, you have to lose~

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

5 posted 2004-07-02 12:45 PM

your monster could be your ability to think and have wants.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

6 posted 2004-09-03 07:23 PM

hmm...whats that supposed to mean...
lol

Thnx.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

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