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Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989


0 posted 2003-11-24 01:41 PM




~Treasures In The Attic~

It was there, in that dreary place
where I had never wanted to go
hiding in the corner, covered in dust
I found words I would come to know.

I remember the day so vividly
up the attic steps I did climb
a treasure was found in the corner
the day that I was introduced to rhyme.

From that day on I would sit mesmerized
by this precious gifting that I had found
words of thought, written in form
within worn out leather they were bound.

I sat down in darkness of closed window
put up the shades so that I could see
and I became immersed within the poetry
I could hear it softly whispering to me.

I could see the words faded with time
written right inside of the front cover
it was then I saw the gracefulness
of the woman I would have called my Mother.

Could it have been a special present
that she had knowingly left behind
with the hopes that sometime, someday
one of her daughters just might find?

I don't know what led me to the attic
or made me find the book of poetry,
a mother calling to her daughter...
her way of giving a gift to me....

{I truly did find a book of poetry that was hers in
the attic as a small girl....
go figure why I would write it now...*grinz*}



It's better than I could have planned..
it's made me who I am...
{Trace Adkins}

[This message has been edited by Gentle Spirit (11-24-2003 02:04 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved
Jes
Member
since 2003-10-21
Posts 422
Denmark
1 posted 2003-11-24 01:47 PM


Not many would know ya thoughts about this, but yes ya right.

listen to it its great, smile, thanks

I really enjoyed

Smile

Jes


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2003-11-24 01:53 PM


I cannot think of a better treasure
by which one's life might be measured
knowing that the attic would hold
something to find, better than gold.

~*~

Keep it close, little one...
Your journey is just beginning!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2003-11-24 01:55 PM


Donna, this poem is a treasure! ~ as are you yourself!

Gave me the tingles!

Love, Light, & Poetry!

Linda

Kazm
Member
since 2003-11-13
Posts 99

4 posted 2003-11-24 03:46 PM


Your name is right for you, gentle spirit. It is easy to see your face in the poem, and it looks just like your picture.

                                                 Kaz

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
5 posted 2003-11-25 09:45 AM


GS-

amazing write and tribute to your
Mother. I am sure she was a wonderful
person. And I do know where this comes
from--this poem touched both my heart and
soul. thank you
take care,
amy

"love is like a butterfly--
if you chase it,
it will surely fly away,instead
hold it close and watch it grow into
something beautiful"
~me~

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2003-11-25 09:58 AM


OhGentleSpirit~
I love this heart-write ...
May become my favorite of your pennings~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram
       noles1@totcon.com   

Bonnie j
Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588
Ohio
7 posted 2003-11-25 10:22 AM


Love this. It is filled with love. The love jumps out and draws us in. I imagine it was so exciting to have found the beauty your mother had carefully wrapped with love and devotion. And to think it was well hidden in the dark corner of your attic until the time was right for you to discover.
Sometime when the time is right share some of words of long ago.
Love Bon-Bon

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
8 posted 2003-11-25 10:32 AM


This is an amazing write...of beauty, love and grace....

HUgsssss

Lauren~

I had a dream last night
you came to me on silver wings of light
I flew away with you in painted sky
Was it real
Is it what you see,touch or feel

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

9 posted 2003-11-25 10:45 AM


Thank you all so much.  I like to think maybe she knows....and smiles knowing that this child that she last held as just a baby of eighteen months perhaps had followed still somehow in her shoes......Hugs.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2003-11-25 12:30 PM


oh Donna, this is so very touching....a warm moment on a cold day like today
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2003-11-25 12:44 PM


Oh my..now how am I to swallow my lunch with this lump in my throat?
What a beautiful heart warming piece this is Donna.
And, I am sure she knows...oh yes,...she knows.
Hugs & luv~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
12 posted 2003-11-28 06:23 PM




(smiles) Yay! Oh Donna, this is beautiful, sweet friend, what a pleasant suprise that has shaped as part of your golden heart, sweet friend, God Bless You, I'm always blessed to read your wonderful words, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Donna, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth
I can see the sun set and I perceive

***Live***

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
13 posted 2003-11-28 07:37 PM


That is a wonderful treasure find!
Lovely write too.

Deb

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
14 posted 2003-11-28 10:07 PM


treasured thoughts nicely depicted...I'd like to suggest the use of past participles instead of gerunds, to me it gives a crisper sound and the action of the line brings the past into the present that the gerund doesn't do..."like a mother called to her daughter". This also fits with the same tense used above, this is just an opinion


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