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Open Poetry #29
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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855


0 posted 2003-09-29 02:36 PM


I would like to die,
crawl up through the sky
and meet you near the sun.

Spread your tired wings
across a pretty world
made beautiful in cruelty.

I can taste the change.
It starts up at my eyes
and ends down at my lips.

See the lights behind
darken and dim out.
Some embers left as stars.

When the city burns,
I know we'll have our turn
obscuring ash with smoke.

The streets are all on fire.
The trees are dying posts
pointing without signs.

Up into the sky.
I would like to die.
Crawling, we both cry.

The signs point at the sun.
Its heat destroys all context
of our final chill.

Wrapped close in defeat,
toppled from our seats.
Actions indiscrete.

So take me to the clouds.
Disintegrate, aloud,
and follow me back down.

© Copyright 2003 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2003-09-29 03:03 PM


I would like to die,
crawl up through the sky
and meet you near the sun.

Spread your tired wings
across a pretty world
made beautiful in cruelty.

============================

So take me to the clouds.
Disintegrate, aloud,
and follow me back down.
============================


just.... wow........
the way you turn words and images into poetry......

"If you feel heartbreak, distant thunder, lightning, earthquakes ...
If you wonder why the earth moves ... this is me missing you."

JH

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

2 posted 2003-09-29 03:15 PM


Much thanks and love, Janet.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2003-09-29 04:07 PM



Seems to me
you crawl mighty
pretty...

do it again, Mike...

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
4 posted 2003-09-29 04:11 PM


LOL@ Sunshine the greedy reader.

Oddly, this seems a "phoenix" falling.

Gotta love your imagery Squirrel dude!


Ed

Wind
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981

5 posted 2003-09-29 04:15 PM


When the city burns,
I know we'll have our turn
obscuring ash with smoke.

agh...you know those city lines kill me...and this

Disintegrate, aloud,

funny you should mention..

And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!"
-Tool

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

6 posted 2003-09-29 04:20 PM


Listening to the Cure, are you? I love that album, but I love Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me even more.

This has been a traumatic month for me. At least I thought so, until last night capped any previous expectations of how low and painful life could get.

At least my weekend was wondrous.

Hence my (poetic) rage in this and many pieces today.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
7 posted 2003-09-29 06:16 PM


I never know what to say...I promised myself I would work on this...but I'm a procrastinator..and a really bad speller too atm...sorry..

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

8 posted 2003-09-29 06:22 PM


Um, wha'? Seriously, this has nothing to do with our short-circuited duet. Sheesh! I still intend us to write something wonderful, once we get a good idea to run with.

No worries.

.m.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
9 posted 2003-09-29 09:05 PM


Huh!? no no the poem left me speechless..I was talking about my commenting stuff lol...but thanks for the reassurance...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

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