navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #27 » An Error of Love
Open Poetry #27
Post A Reply Post New Topic An Error of Love Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state

0 posted 2003-07-13 02:55 AM



Is it only the entitled which you entertain
and lack of class which you disdain
questions of rank a virtue or do I abstain?
Are opinions just that and nothing more
or lack of office that gentry abhors;
what of religion, color and creed
no to mention lesser misdeeds?

Of the patient who chances cures at home
as health care systems are run by gnomes
shake the system...shake n bake
a doctor's daughter labelled fake
Of his malpractice, she is not to blame
you'd sooner choose her
had daddy come to fame.

Her family's denied access to chosen tables
doesn't exclude the fact of her being able
and the good stand tall without titles.
If it's only the nameless that you disdain
rudeness comes with names just the same
and honoured bodies return to nature
whether of 'good' blood or high stature.

Since she is young fair and wise
why point out bloodlines you dispise
in common folk honor surely thrives
from which love may otherwise derive.

So love the maiden for who she is
a heavenly king will provide the rest
if it's only a title for which you abstain
question not common stature that you disdain.







[This message has been edited by ecrivan (07-14-2003 01:18 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-07-13 03:02 AM


Martin, very wise words in a very complex manner, but understood after reading twice
ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
2 posted 2003-07-13 03:36 AM


pleased to hear that...but purposefully written that way


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2003-07-13 09:50 AM


So love the maid for who she is
a heavenly king will provide the rest
if it's only a title for which you abstain
question not common stature that you disdain

~*~

Wise man...
wise words

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2003-07-13 09:58 AM


enjoyed this look at the false social parameters of love
pounding heartbeats know no such boundaries  

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-07-13 10:09 AM


Ecrivan, I like the way that you see another viewpoint of things, and then are able to write about them. It's very interesting.  
Hugs  
Ethel

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
6 posted 2003-07-13 10:33 AM


Ethyl,

And to think I wouldn't be writing 'love' poems....hehe.

Midnite,

the pounding hearts though suggest never use
the head, don't know about that ...but the false social parameters is a sickening little devil, thanks for reading

[This message has been edited by ecrivan (07-13-2003 10:35 AM).]

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
7 posted 2003-07-13 10:42 AM


Karilea,

Good to read your comments, just switched the las two stanzas


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2003-07-13 12:32 PM


Excellent write Martin, reminded me of this perfect couple in high school. These two were inseperable they adored eachother. One day i saw they had broken up and had to ask why. It was because they found they were from different religions. Not even outright different religions but different factions of the same one. Love does not conquer all in this world though it should.
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

9 posted 2003-07-13 01:26 PM


Great job...very creative and lyrical.
Eric

ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state
10 posted 2003-07-14 12:57 PM


Hey Raph,

I see this between a mixed cultural backgrounds where differences are more understandable as a cause..and also between elements of the same...usually pointing out who hasn't got enough money

Eric,

thanks for sharing,I had to elaborate on the connection between the daughter and her father

[This message has been edited by ecrivan (07-14-2003 01:20 AM).]

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #27 » An Error of Love

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary