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Misunderstood Smile
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Misunderstood Smile |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Misunderstood Smile She listened as I vented anger Tears glistening on her cheeks. I had misunderstood a smile from a stranger And accused her of a breach of trust. But it was my mistake to doubt I allowed my jealously to cloud my love. She listened quietly with hurting eyes And wounded heart and sad sighs. Something in her look stopped me cold And flooded me with shame. I doubted, without cause Hurting the only love I'd ever known. I reached for her with open arms And begged her to forgive me. With a tear stained smile She so willingly kissed my face. I don't deserve her love right now I must earn it back...somehow. believe in what your heart feels... |
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yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
Gorgeous and heartfelt. The only thing I can think of that would be a critique is the style of ryhming. Being a beginner at ryhming myself, I realize that my opinion may not be relevant, but it seemed that you were ryhming and then the ryhmes would get lost. Maybe it's just me and like I said, my opinion really isn't relevant. But beautiful poem none the less. Junior Member, yv |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
This one reminds me of Liam in the beginning. But I always took him back. I loved these words. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Scorpio...this is the longest contribution I have seen from you.... and yet... it so few words, you have encapsulated a moment.... thank you. |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Such depths are seldom spoken, the unique delivery turned the nerve through the read...pausing the reader in all the right places. A wonderful piece of work...vivid and endless. TD |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Ah, dear Scorpio..I'm sure time will heal her hurt. And very soon you will be back in each other's arms. If I may add..very heartfelt write here...well done. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~ |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Thank you yv...I was attempting a free verse and it just happened at a few lines rhymed.. Jealousy has no place in a loving relationship...I know that...now...thank you Julie.. Thank you, Karilea...I like the power of a few words...concise clean writes challenge me...so I try to do my poems that way.. Thank you for your comments ThisDiamond...I appreciate them very much.. Enchantress, I will do my best to help heal the hurt...I'm touched by your support and kind words...thank you.. believe in what your heart feels... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
beautiful write, love the ending, though sad |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this just goes right to the heart, and touches....made me ache for her, and for you....  hope you two are ok now  |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
As confidence grows jealousy goes...james |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Something in her look stopped me cold And flooded me with shame. I doubted, without cause Hurting the only love I'd ever known. I reached for her with open arms And begged her to forgive me. With a tear stained smile She so willingly kissed my face. I don't deserve her love right now I must earn it back...somehow. Scorpio, you'll never know how much these words touched me. Since my Love and I are in a long distance relationship, jealously sometimes creeps in about different things. We always talk it out and with that comes understanding of whatever brought it on in the first place. We made an agreement right after we fell in love, that if one of us didn't understand something, we would talk about it. Like I've said many times, if a couple will have open communication mixed in with their love for each other, they can work out most problems that may arise....whatever they may be. I can tell by your poems that you and your love have a very special bond. If both of you will keep your tender hearts for each other, your love will survive anything. Thank you for sharing this part of your heart, dear Scorpio. Hugs to you both  Ethel  [This message has been edited by garysgirl (06-06-2003 04:25 PM).] |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Something tells me it will not take that long to regain her trust...  Warm hugs, EA |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Passingshadows..thank you for your support...it's really only sad if I repeat my mistake...and I promise never to do that.. Sea...thanks for your concern..yes I'm doing my penitence... Yes James, confidence and trust go hand in hand...thank you.. Communication pays a major role in a relationship, Ethel...I'm glad you and Gary have been successful...long distance romances are difficult and you two have done well.. Linda..thank you for you kind comments...yes I too hope it's soon.. believe in what your heart feels... |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Misunderstandings are painful indeed and have a way of weakening our spirit. But in the end, forgiving makes the heart grow stronger where our love dwells longer. Much enjoyed scorpio~ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
scorpio A good strong write, enjoyed. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssssss) God Bless You, sweet friend, with your most giving and understanding heart, she will jump back into your arms in no time! (sigh) You possess one thing that many lovers always push aside: honesty. You admitted your small fault, and that is what is going to make her love you even more, to see that you are real and in understanding each other more deeper if you can get through that obstacle, your love can get through anything! (sigh) I admire you so much for following your heart, sweet friend, it is not easy for too many, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Scorpio, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Thank you, BluesSerenade...your comments are appreciated.. Sy..I'm pleased you liked it...thanks so much.. Noah...you make me smile with your kind comments...thank you!! believe in what your heart feels... |
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